6 Ways For Young Single Adults To Prepare For Marriage
Marriage is the “M word” in the YSA wards of the Church. As a single LDS guy I live in a culture that stresses the need for marriage, a common problem is that people are often times not ready to get married. They rush in and then it ends in divorce, this causes many young single adults to fear marriage. Everyone will say they want to be married and have a family, but actions speak louder than their words, are you preparing for marriage with your actions? Preparation for marriage, which is the most important decision in life is vital.
No one should be unwise enough to count on an across-the-crowded-room romanticized live-happily- ever-after marriage made without proper thoughtfulness, preparation, and prayer. Marriage is an everyday and every-way relationship in which honesty and character and shared convictions and objectives and views about finances and family and life-style are more important than moonlight and music and an attractive profile.
Elder Marion D. Hanks
1st. Learn How To Sacrifice.
We live in the selfie generation, we are told by the world around us “just do what makes you happy.” But the attitude of “Me! Me! Me! has caused sacrificing to become a lost art. Learning how to sacrifice is the most important thing you do to prepare for marriage. Marriage is putting the needs of others before your own desires. If you are not willing to sacrifice what you want today for a better tomorrow, your actions are saying that you really don’t want marriage. So evaluate what you are spending your time and money on and what can be sacrificed for something better.
“You can have what you want, or you can have something better.”
~Jeffery R. Holland.
2nd. Be Honest With Yourself And Others ALWAYS.
Dishonesty is rampant in today’s culture, it is far easier to tell a white lie than, to tell the truth. But relationships built on lies always fail and bring heartache to all involved. Honesty is the bedrock of any relationship, including your relationship with God. Sacrificing your own comfort by not telling a white lie is hard, but it is a sign of maturity and that you are trying to build real lasting relationships and keep your covenants with God.
Being an honest person is not only admirable and it is also extremely attractive. It will help not just with marriage but every relationship you build in life. In the Temple we covenant with God to be honest, let’s keep that covenant! And if you have not been to the temple then prepare for it by choosing to do the harder right rather than the easier wrong.
“May we ever choose the harder right instead of the easier wrong.”
~Thomas S. Monson
3rd. Be Happy!
Getting married is not a magic pill that will make you happy. If you are not happy now, then marriage will not fix your problems. We were created to have joy, so find joy in the journey by following the Spirit and choosing to be thankful for your blessings! As you are grateful you will find yourself being happy, You would not want to marry a grumpy person, so don’t be one! We have the plan of happiness, let’s follow it!
“If you are not happy living the Gospel, you are not doing it right”
~Elder Anthony D. Perkins
(For 15 Quotes To Increase Your Happiness from President Uchtdorf CLICK HERE)
4th. Take Care Of Both Your Spiritual And Physical Body.
When you are not taking care of your body it is showing God you don’t respect it. How can we expect God to give us a family if we are not being wise with our current stewardship? And it does not become easier to get in shape when you are married. If you go to bed late, and awake late not only is it unhealthy, it is actually breaking the commandments! ” retire to thy bed early, that ye may not be weary; arise early, that your bodies and your minds may be invigorated.” D&C 88:124
Now is the time to become healthy so you can enter into the next phase of life with preestablished habits that will bless your married life. Just as we must feed our spirit, we must not neglect our body!
“Feeding the spirit while neglecting the body, which is a temple, usually leads to spiritual dissonance and lowered self-esteem. If you are out of shape, if you are uncomfortable in your own body and can do something about it, then do it!”
~Elder Jörg Klebingat
5th. Learn How To Manage Your Money.
What does this have to do with not being ready for marriage? Ahh, everything. The number one cause for divorce is money problems, if you are bad with money now you will be bad with money tomorrow unless you do something today! Learn how to budget and save money, work on your credit score and strive to get out of debt. Entering into a marriage with lots of debt, bad credit, and bad habits is like starting a marathon after pulling an all-nighter, sure you can do it, but it is a lot wiser prepare and plan ahead.
“Through wise budgeting, control your real needs and measure them carefully against your many wants in life. Far too many individuals and families have incurred too much debt. Be careful of the many attractive offers to borrow money. It is much easier to borrow money than it is to pay it back. There are no shortcuts to financial security. There are no get-rich-quick schemes that work.”
~M. Russell Ballard
6th. Conquer Insecurity By Finding Your Divine Value.
If you are consistently seeking confirmation and assurances that you “look good” or if you find yourself constantly seeking validation from others you might be insecure. A lasting sense of our personal value can only come from our Father in Heaven, He loves and values each of us. It places undue stress on any relationship when we expect someone to fill the role of our Father in affirming our divine worth. Developing a strong relationship with Heavenly Father will lead us to a sense of self-worth and a desire to fulfill our divine potential.
“What could inspire one to purity and worthiness more than to possess a spiritual confirmation that we are the children of God? What could inspire a more lofty regard for oneself, or engender more love for mankind?”
~Boyd K. Packer
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