The Lie About Loving the LGBTQ+ Community That Many Latter-day Saints Are Believing
If your Facebook feed is anything like mine it has become inundated with the rainbow flag and people posting about LGBTQ+ topics. I have seen countless posts both those who advocate for and against the LGBTQ+ lifestyle. The common theme throughout all the posts is everyone claiming they are acting out of love. I have been pondering these posts all month. And while I was running this morning and pondering the Spirit gave me a parable about truly loving our brothers and sisters in the LGBTQ+ community. So, to preface my article, I want to share this parable to set the tone.
The parable of the law student and his friends.
Once there was a young man who desired more than anything to become a lawyer. This was his goal and his dream. This young man told his three friends about his aspirations. He asked them for help achieving his dream. Throughout high school and college, his friends encouraged him and helped him study. When he passed the LSAT to enter law school they celebrated with him that he was nearing his goal.
Finally, the night before he was to take the Bar Exam to officially become a lawyer was here. Seeing that their friend was preparing for the most important step of his goal and that he needed to relax his friends all go out to dinner to celebrate. At the end of dinner, this young man sees other students from his law school they invite him to go out to a bar with them.
His first friend tells him that he deserves to be happy and that they should go. His second friend says that he does not drink but will be the designated driver. The third friend tells him that he should not go. He says that he loves him and that they should not be drinking and staying up late the night before the exam. The young men's classmates angrily attack the third friend for being so judgmental, not understanding, and unloving; and they leave him behind and go to the bar.
While at the bar, he parties later and later into the night. When he awakes in the morning he has slept through his alarms and the exam doors are already closed. He failed the bar exam. In anguish, he calls his friends to his house and tells them he has failed. He then asks, "When I needed you most, why did you assist in my self-destruction?"
The first friend tells him that he was just trying to love him and make sure he was accepted by his friends. The second friend tells him that he was also trying to love him and did not want to judge him, impede his agency or be too preachy. He then looks at his third friend. His third friend tells him, "I too acted out of love. Love of you. I tried to warn you that your actions were incompatible with your goals... But you and the others scorned me and left me behind. When you left me behind, I went home and knelt down and prayed for you. I have always loved you."
Which of his friends truly loved him? The first friend encouraged and affirmed his choices, even though he knew what their costs would be. His love was seeking the praise of men, at the cost of his friend. The second friend saw himself as a sophisticated neutral. He was not going to tell him what to do, either way, he did not want to upset anyone. He knew his words could make a difference, but he did not use them. His actions revealed that love of self was his motive. But the third friend raised his voice in an attempt to help him. He loved his friend and refused to give up on him. Even when others scoffed and scorned at him, he continued to love. Robert D. Hales taught, "A true friend will not let us do anything we want. True friends will correct us when we do something wrong and bring us back on the straight and narrow path that leads to exaltation."
So where do we as Latter-day Saints fall when it comes to the LGBTQ+ topics? Which friend are we like? We too had a pre-mortal life (high school and college) where we prepared for this small moment of mortality (the night before the exam). We knew our brothers and sisters in this pre-mortal life and ALL OF US had the goal of passing the exam. Now here we are the night before the exam. It is the real world. Our 'friend' from the story is everyone around us. Are we going to love the praise of social media and man? Are we going to love ourselves and attempt to be a sophisticated neutral? Or are we going to love our brothers and sisters and lovingly live and share the gospel?
“Satan need not get everyone to be like Cain or Judas, though he relishes such dramatic “success.” He needs only to get able men like Pilate or Agrippa to see themselves as sophisticated neutrals.”
Neal A. Maxwell, Deposition of a Disciple (1976), 88.
How doctrine and love are inseparable.
With that parable as the backdrop. We can finally address the topic at hand. Everyone says they are motivated by love. But in reality, true love is inseparable from true doctrine. When we seek to be like the first friend or the second, are our actions really motivated by true love? God is love and God loves us. But he does not tolerate sin. True love draws us to Christ and God. True love embraces and embodies true doctrine. Russell M. Nelson taught, "Real love for the sinner may compel courageous confrontation—not acquiescence! Real love does not support self-destructing behavior." Regarding loving others correctly, Elder Holland recently at BYU stated: "We have to be careful that love and empathy do not get interpreted as condoning and advocacy, or that orthodoxy and loyalty to principle not be interpreted as unkindness or disloyalty to people. As near as I can tell, Christ never once withheld His love from anyone, but He also never once said to anyone, ‘Because I love you, you are exempt from keeping my commandments.’ We are tasked with trying to strike that same sensitive, demanding balance in our lives.”
As Latter-day Saints, we have restored doctrines that require us to act differently. The doctrines of the gospel teach us how to truly love as God loves. Dallin H. Oaks taught: "Each member of Christ’s church has a clear-cut doctrinal responsibility to show forth love and to extend help and understanding. Sinners, as well as those who are struggling to resist inappropriate feelings, are not people to be cast out but people to be loved and helped. At the same time, Church leaders and members cannot avoid their responsibility to teach correct principles and righteous behavior [on all subjects], even if this causes discomfort to some."
So, what doctrines compel us to act? And what do they compel us to do? I want to dive into a few doctrines that Latter-day Saints have been forsaking on social media in their attempt to 'love' members of the LGBTQ+ community.
The plan of salvation is a plan of love and REQUIRES us NOT to endorse the LGBTQ+ lifestyle.
If this earth life were the beginning and end of our existence then 'eat, drink, and be merry' would be the only standards that make sense. Marry whomever you want. Smoke whatever you want. Do whatever you want, as long as you do not hurt me, I would not care. If this life was everything, then everyone satisfying their appetites would be logical. But our knowledge of the plan of salvation changes everything.
This life is NOT the beginning. We lived with God before we were born into these mortal bodies. We lived with our Heavenly Father and our Heavenly Mother, the two of them forming an eternal heterosexual union, with all of us as their children. And we shouted for JOY when God outlined a plan that would enable us to gain a body and work towards becoming like our Heavenly Parents, IE, get bodies, and form our own eternal heterosexual unions, and have our own children. Regarding the plan of salvation, Elder Holland taught, "Obviously, a same-gender relationship is inconsistent with this plan."
This knowledge that we previously understood and accepted God's plan, and that we were eager to accept mortal life and be tested and tried to reach our desired goals of eternal life is VITAL to understanding real love. Love is not the physical arousal of the body! It is the spiritual drive that powered the plan of salvation. Love of His children caused God to send His Son to earth to atone for the world. Love of His Father and siblings is what motivated Jesus Christ to perform that atonement! And for us, real love is supporting our friends in their quest for exaltation! It is not telling them to settle for less! True love would not tell a friend at the moment of decision to give up! True love will encourage, love, support, and pray for their friend to reach their potential of becoming like God.
Now am I saying we should judge others? NO! I am saying we should love them but also declare the doctrine. Elder Maxwell taught this when he said, "For the unchaste, we can be both truthful and loving in helping them to see sin and to forsake it." Should we be preachy and shove it down their throat? No! I am not saying we should judge, demean, or condemn others! What I am saying is that we should not forsake the gospel on social media. We should stand for the truth and unapologetically share the gospel even when others will hate us for doing so. Consider this message I received on Facebook regarding loving those in the LGBTQ+ community but teaching true doctrine and ask yourself am I helping or hurting members of the LGBTQ+ community who are trying to live the plan of salvation and work towards exaltation?
Exaltation is a heterosexual union and the unchanging bedrock of the gospel plan.
People who talk about the Church needing to accept gay marriage and allow gay couples to get married in the temple do not understand even the basics of the plan of salvation. Our entire religion and plan of salvation centers around a heterosexual couple (Heavenly Father and Heavenly Mother) that we are striving to become like. Jesus Christ came to earth to enable us to become like our heavenly parents. Ezra Taft Benson taught that Exaltation is merely eternal fatherhood and motherhood. That is exaltation, that is godhood! Heterosexual marriage is not just ‘part' of the gospel plan that could be changed like a dentist pulling a tooth, it is the summum bonum of the plan of salvation. It would be like a spine and crinum replacement surgery. Fatherhood and Motherhood are the bedrock essence of Godhood.
There is a quote from Elder John A. Widtsoe where he describes those who advocate changing the gospel as "one who has broken with the fundamental principles or guiding philosophy of the group to which he belongs. … He claims membership in an organization but does not believe in its basic concepts; and sets out to reform it by changing its foundations."
The Law of Chasity is a requirement of exaltation. It applies to ALL of God's children. And it is hard for most of them.
One of the major talking points of advocates of accepting the LGBTQ+ lifestyle is that it is immoral and unrealistic to expect those who have a same-gender attraction to live the Law of Chastity. What they fail to understand, is that, unlike man's law, the Law of Chasity comes from God and man cannot change it. The Law of Chastity is not only eternal but also applicable to ALL of God's children.
And do you want in on a little secret? The Law of Chasity is hard for a LOT of members across all spectrums. The single sister who never marries, the divorcee, the member who previously was addicted to porn. Those who find themselves single for years longer than they expected. ALL MEMBERS are expected to avoid pornography like the plague, never masturbate, and live celibate lives unless they are within a marriage between a man and woman.
Each one of us will have our 'cross to bear' a commandment that is particularly difficult for us. For many members, that cross is living the Law of Chastity. Can you really compare the difficulty between crosses that we are called to bear by saying it is harder for LGBTQ+ people than others? In the words of Elder Maxwell, "only the Lord can compare crosses!" So be merciful! Be loving and resist the temptation to judge others.
Same-gender attraction is NOT sinful.
Regardless of what gender you are attracted to our attractions are real and powerful. But those attractions are not inherently sinful! Sometimes in our quest to avoid sin itself, we associate temptation with sin. It is not a sin to be tempted. To give in to temptation is. Jeffrey R. Holland left no room for misunderstanding when he taught: "Let me make it clear that attractions alone, troublesome as they may be, do not make one unworthy. The First Presidency has stated, “There is a distinction between immoral thoughts and feelings and participating in either immoral heterosexual or any homosexual behavior.” If you do not act on temptations, you have not transgressed. The failure to see that distinction sometimes leads to despair."
You are not gay. You are a child of God. Your sexuality does NOT define you or your potential.
Satan wants us to identify ourselves by the condition of the fall. IE, things that will not matter in the next life: "Billy is bald, Jeremy is fat, Jenny is short, Donna is white, Jerry is Japanese, Roger is a republican, and Aaron is gay." By getting us to identify as something other than the divinity of our creation, Satan causes us to lose focus from our Heavenly Father and His plan of salvation. One of the prime examples of this comes in the focused attack by Satan against those who identify as LGBTQ+ and their families. Satan tells these people that their attractions, feelings, and desires are who they are. No longer do they identify primarily as a child of God, they identify as their sexual orientation: "I am Gay", "I am Bi", "I am transgender" and if you love me, you will affirm and support me.
This deception is VITAL for Satan's plan to work. Because as soon as we shift a person's identity to sinful behavior, then they become that behavior and any criticism of that behavior are taken personally. When the Prophet or the Apostles repeat the law of chastity it is no longer decrying an action, but it is decrying them as a person. This is why Elder Bednar said, "There are no homosexual members of the Church. We are not defined by sexual attraction. We are not defined by sexual behavior." For Satan to move his plan forward we must identify ourselves and others by anything other than our status as a child of God.
“Most important, each of us is a child of God with a potential destiny of eternal life. Every other label, even including occupation, race, physical characteristics, or honors, is temporary or trivial in eternal terms. Don’t choose to label yourselves or think of yourselves in terms that put a limit on a goal for which you might strive.”
Dallin H. Oaks, “Where Will This Lead?” April 2019.
The Natural Man: "I was born this way."
Those who advocate the LGBTQ+ lifestyle often say that they are simply 'acting on the feelings that God gave them,' as if their natural instincts are justification enough for their actions. Our desires regardless of them being heterosexual or homosexual must be bridled. In the words of Jeffrey R. Holland, "The desire for physical gratification does not authorize immorality by anyone." Not only is it right to ask a person to put off their natural desires, but it is also the test of life itself!
Elder David A. Bednar taught that "the precise nature of the test of mortality, then, can be summarized in the following question: Will I respond to the inclinations of the natural man, or will I yield to the enticings of the Holy Spirit and put off the natural man and become a saint through the Atonement of Christ the Lord? That is the test. Every appetite, desire, propensity, and impulse of the natural man may be overcome by and through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. We are here on the earth to develop godlike qualities and to bridle all of the passions of the flesh."
President Kimball went on to clarify, "The 'natural man' is the 'earthy man' who has allowed rude animal passions to overshadow his spiritual inclinations." So even if you were born with the inclination towards sin, let us follow Jesus Christ who commanded us to become born again!
Conclusion: Truly loving members of the LGBTQ+ community.
Referring back to the parable at the beginning. We know the doctrine and we know what God expects of us. We have made covenants not just to love God and our neighbors but to stand as a witness, to speak out, and be counted. So, will we do it? Will we cave to the pressures of man and act like the first friend? Will we in pride act in self-preservation and pretend to be neutral? Or will we boldly and lovingly teach and live the doctrine? Do we realize that when we act as the first or second friend's not only are we hurting our friends but we will have to answer for our role in their sins? I want to end with the words of Ezra Taft Benson:
A few years ago, we knew our Elder Brother and our Father in heaven well. We rejoiced at the upcoming opportunity for earth life that could make it possible for us to have a fullness of joy like they had. We could hardly wait to demonstrate to our Father and our Brother, the Lord, how much we loved them and how we would be obedient to them in spite of the earthly opposition of the evil one.
And now we’re here—our memories are veiled—and we’re showing God and ourselves what we can do. And nothing is going to startle us more when we pass through the veil to the other side than to realize how well we know our Father and how familiar his face is to us. And then, as President Brigham Young said, we’re going to wonder why we were so stupid in the flesh.
God loves us. He’s watching us, he wants us to succeed, and we’ll know someday that he has not left one thing undone for the eternal welfare of each of us. If we only knew it, there are heavenly hosts pulling for us—friends in heaven that we can’t remember now, who yearn for our victory. This is our day to show what we can do—what life and sacrifice we can daily, hourly, instantly bring to God. If we give our all, we will get his all from the greatest of all.
Ezra Taft Benson Ensign, July 1975
I truly love this article! David Archaletta came out and said that he was gay! Many people came out in support for him telling him how courageous he is! What bothered me so much was that initially came out just attracted to men & then later to women! I thought that was a mixed up & crazy idea! I told him that he looked so sad, confused, & mixed up and that I hoped that he would someday be able to find himself! Actually I don't remember exactly what I said, but I wasn't at all congratulating him, supporting him, I was trying to lead him to find himself! No one else, was more caring than me I thought! That is exactly what the LGBTQ community wants total support and love for what they are doing! It has become the in thing in our society to be this way ~ it is encouraged and promoted ~ sadly!
Thank you for this insight. I think it will help me understand how to keep eternal goals and God's plan in focus as I love y own children and grandchildren struggling with the issue of LGTBQ trials. I have my own personal challenges. I cannot pass judgment on others but I can through love of God, recognize and distinguish sin and lies. Hopefully I can convey my love for others while being intolerant of sin. I am so thankful for the principles of the atonement, repentance, forgiveness and the healing power of God's love.
Thanks for taking the time to write and share this.
Jeremy, this article wins THE BEST ARTICLE ONLINE award!
You have obviously thought deeply about this topic, and you made your case very clearly. Your analogy / parable of the law student on the eve of the big exam, and his 3 friends’ different ways of showing their “support”, was applicable to our times, and totally on-point.
I have gay family members and friends. I want to thank you for sharing your viewpoint and your great insight on this topic; and thank you *especially* for your bold courage to openly share it in these times when ‘the powers that be’ truly seek to tear us apart.
I am with you. And “we” are not against anyone. We are simply willing to stand up, speak plainly, and declare The Truth. Even if that means we lose friends for doing so. Because true friends will value that attribute in us, and will support us in being true to ourselves, our conscience, and also to our Savior and our Creator.
Not a fan of your friend analogy. I’d be a hybrid of 2 &3–a friend who expresses that I don’t agree with the drinking, but you bet I’d be the designated driver. It’s possible to oppose the sin while being there to offer positive influence for the sinner.
You just described how #2's see themselves.
I totally agree with you. I don't believe #3 is the best option. Yes, it's comfortable to just judge someone and leave but Christ stayed with the sinners. It allows to build connections and trust. Loving is uncomfortable.
You failed to read if you think the 3rd friend judged or left his friend.
Also, Christ did not 'stay with the sinners' He went to them met them where they were at, forgave them with a command to follow him and sin no more. He was not spending His time frolicking in the whore houses with people who refused to repent. He went there with the goal to save those who would harken to his call. "Come, follow Me." That is true love as that is God's love.
A very good article a rather council long by adage contributes like P. Ezra Taft Benson an P. Jeffrey Holland. In Ghana my country the country's policies are against lgbtq+ we reward it as filthy and against out traditions as true nation of God. We can't recognize them among us at our wards nor in the Accra Stakes, and we are yet to identify them.It is a taboo which you call traditions that prevent people from fight acts and working perfectly we need. I love the presentation.
@Eric Mensah, You don't allow LGBTQ people to attend church?
Jeremy, I appreciate the open discussion on this very important issue. I think you do a great disservice by minimizing or failing to adequately address the unimaginable pain and suffering experienced by many of our queer brothers and sisters who grapple with the reality that one of life’s most rewarding and fulfilling goals, to have companionship and a family, has been foreclosed to them. And to simply dismiss it because it is a fate shared by many of our single heterosexual brothers and sisters shows a tremendous lack of empathy. Granted, God’s laws are not subject to popular opinion, but there is a divine chronology to being able to minister to others which you seem to overlook. There were no preconditions for Christ to sit with each one of us in our state of filthiness and agony when he condescended to atone for us. Yes, we will still have to accept his gift in order to have eternal life by following his commandments, but his love and devotion to each one of us is without question because of that supernal and merciful act. Gratefully, Ammon followed this same Christ-like sequence of ministering by choosing to see those “blood-thirsty” Lamanites as his brethren and worthy of love regardless of their spiritual condition. We of course know how that turned out. Joseph Smith said “by the proving of contraries truth is manifest”. It is my opinion that you are too preoccupied with the law at the expense of love. As a wise man once said, “no one cares how much you know until they know how much you care.” Christ was able to work miracles in people’s lives because of how much he cared about their suffering. You have impressed us with your doctrinal mastery, I just don’t think the people you say you are trying to help really care.
I think you miss the point of this article. I have previous written an article about loving members of the LGBTQ community, and how they should be able to count on us to be an ally. This article is not addressing those who are judging, but rather those who are trying to love them. I can't cover every topic in every article, so I wrote two, each to different audiences who have different needs as shown by their actions.
The problem is in the language. Activists rely on equivocation to disguise meaning. When you say ally, based on your post, I'm pretty sure you don't mean ally in the same way the LGBTQetc community mean ally. That equivocation is a key to how activists manipulate people into dangerous water.
It's a common technique among all the grievance philosophies.
I 100% agree with you. That is why I always try to define what I mean when I use a word that Satan has attempted to hijack. And sadly he has hijacked many of the terms and words we use.
Excellent!
When it comes to the gospel, Charity is at the very heart of it. I think we need to be reaching out to everyone - Yes EVERYONE - even our enemies as Christ taught us. If we are to be true disciples we need to help lift and love all people, not just the ones who are like us.
I love this quote by Dieter F. Uchdorf:
"He [Christ] spent time among the poor, the unpopular, and the burdened. He knew that it was the sick, not the whole, who need a physician. He reached out to those who sorrowed and suffered. Matthew tells us that 'his fame went throughout all Syria: and they brought unto him all sick people that were taken with divers diseases and torments, and those which were possessed with devils, and those which were lunatic, and those that had the palsy; and he healed them.'”
Love is the heart of the Plan of Salvation. True love emanates from God and is inseparable from the true doctrine and laws of the celestial kingdom. God in love gave us the commandments. We in love teach them. And if we truly love our fellow men we teach the truth and we love them regardless of what they choose to do. The mistake is made when we acquiesce and tell them sin is acceptable.
I would love to have a discussion with you about this. I think you see more through the lens the Pharisees did. They were very well-meaning but there we so many things they didn't understand.
The Pharisee's lens? Please enlighten me how teaching that we should love God and our fellow men, and that true love, according to Jesus Christ requires we keep the commandments and teach true doctrine... Please explain how that is Pharisaical? The Pharisees built the Khumra within Judaism. They were so afraid that the sinner might contaminate them that they refused to love the sinner. They claimed that the Khumra was to help them keep the law. But, in reality, they viewed the Khumra as law and their Khumra became their god. It was because Jesus violated the Khumra that they were so offended at Him.
It is not Pharisaical to say we must follow the prophets and love God and truly love our fellowmen.
Your parable brings to mind perhaps the ultimate parable about being a good friend, or a good neighbor, the story of the good samaritan. In that story there were people who were well versed in the doctrines of their church and dedictated to upholding them. Unfortunately, they let this prevented them from having an empathetic understanding of the situation. They failed to see that the person before them was a fellow traveler who had not been as fortunate on the road they shared. They failed to see how wounded he was, that he had been brutally attacked and his life was in jeopardy. I hope that we will follow the example of the good samaritan and seek empathy first, to truly understand the experience and suffering of our fellow travelers, and to let that understanding guide our actions.
The Gospel guides our actions. Regardless of what trials fellow travelers on life's journey have experienced the Gospel and living the commandments are the only road to safety and peace. Any Latter-day Saint who advocates for people not to live the gospel or keep the commandments surely is not motivated by Love of God or fellow man, but like the 1st or 2nd friends by love of self and praise of the world.
Thank you for a very clear and accurate statement in this article. I think it would be helpful if people would stop using the term homosexual or gay. Those terms are inaccurate at best. There is no such biological entity according to correct vocabulary. What is meant when the terms are applied is that an individual feels inclined to satisfy sexual desire in an mistaken and misdirected manner. I appreciate that you said these temptations and mistaken directions do not define an individual's identity. So we should not apply the terms to them. A person saying, "I am gay." or "I have gay friends." or "My child is gay." is mis-speaking and making it harder for the individual to overcome a temptation.
Correct. When Latter-day Saints use these terms they are playing into the narrative Satan seeks to establish.
You are not able to get revelation for anyone but yourself and your children. What you "feel" certainly has no applicability to anyone else. This is not doctrine and it is dangerous for you pretend it is. We have had imposters throughout the history of the Church all of whom claimed special revelation the prophet wasn't recieving.
I am not claiming to receive revelation for others. And I point to a single time in church history an 'imposter' has told people to follow the prophet and keep the commandments. Just because you don't like the truth does not make it less true.
I appreciate the anecdote and also your sharing your testimony. Not everything is as it seems though. Being gay or anything aside from heterosexual is not a choice. Just look at the mental health of people who come out and their families and friends turn on them. So much fear of rejection, so much fear of hurtful comments and looks, so many instances of self-harm or suicides. In your anecdote, you site a choice, which we all have. Sometimes people around us make good choices and sometimes bad ones, but never have I had someone change from their bad choices by berating them or talking to them condescendingly. They have to choose for themselves. So even if you thought being gay was a choice, then the worst thing you could do would be to be mean or curt with them; to try and correct them with confrontation. We love even when people make bad choices because that’s what Jesus does. I have come to understand that we, as people, and especially as church members, think of ourselves as the prophets in the scriptures, but more often than not, I find that I’m more like the Pharisees and Sadducees than I care to admit. We get hung up on culture and the “law” so much that we disregard the doctrine of Christ: To love God, and our neighbors. I understand completely the struggle people have with the LGBTQ+ community As a member of the church myself, it is so hard to think about how they could be that way, but certain experiences in my life have changed my perspective. If you’d like to discuss civilly, I’d be happy to talk, if you just want to silence my voice or be rude, then please don’t reach out.
Heath,
First, I did not claim same-gender attraction was a choice. So I have no idea where you got 99% of that comment because it was not from reading this article. But you repeatedly use that as some talking point when it is null and void.
Second, I have already written an article aimed at Latter-day Saints who do not love those in the LGBTQ community. Here is a link to that article: https://mylifebygogogoff.com/2019/06/every-lgbtq-should-be-able-to-count-on-a-latter-day-saint-to-be-an-ally.html This article is NOT addressing those who are unloving. This article is addressing those who claim to be acting out of 'love for their neighbor' when in reality they are not.
Third, no one is 'gay' as you are NOT your sexual attraction! You are a child of God!! Stop defining people by the conditions of the fall rather than the divinity of their creation. Latter-day Saints who categorize people by their sexual orientation are adding Satan in his war against the Plan of Salvation. For only once he is able to categorize people does his work gain any traction.
Fourth, the doctrine of Christ is a very specific thing. The Doctrine of Christ is: 1st, to have faith in Christ. 2nd, to repent of our sins. 3rd, be baptized and enter into covenants to keep the commandments including the law of chastity. 4th, receive the gift of the holy ghost and live worthy of His companionship. 5th, it is to endure to the end and receive all the ordinances of the temple.
Fith, what you cite as the 'doctrine of Christ' is actually the two great commandments. 1st that we love God and second, that we love our fellow men. But Satan has hijacked these commandments for many members. Because they choose to identify people by their actions rather than as Children of God, (See #3) they think that to love them requires we affirm sinful actions when in reality nothing could be further from the truth.
To love God is to keep His commandments, including the law of Chasity, tithing, covenants to refrain from evil speaking of the Lord's anointed.
To love your fellow men is to treat them right, as Children of God. To always be willing to love and forgive, to be there when they need you. One who truly loves his neighbor would never affirm sinful lifestyles. for that is sacrificing someone for your own personal comfort! LET ME SAY THAT AGAIN. TO AFFIRM SIN IS NOT LOVE, IT IS SELFISHNESS
The current culture is relentless, it bathes us and practically permeates the air we breathe, intentionally, to overwhelm us and convince us that resistance is futile. It's impact is exponentially felt when a beloved child or family member has gender confusion or has same gender attraction. To become another casualty to the pressure to concede ground to Satan, on Facebook or anywhere else, will just make it easier for others to fall. Members who aren't having gender issues but who join Satan's side of the conflict are 'failing' their exams as much as the same sex attracted person, or any person for that matter who acts on their impulses that violate Eternal Law. What a time we live in!
Whereas I understand what you are saying Pauline Fife, it is important to remember that attraction is not sinful, action is. But you are correct. When Latter-day Saints lead those in the LGBTQ+ community to affirm their attractions God will answer the sinful actions on the heads of the Saints who knew better.
Thank you so much for this article, Jeremy! I'm so grateful that the Spirit spoke these truths to you and that you heard Him and are willing to share! This is what needs to be said today more than ever before! We need to help our brothers and sisters who have this trial ... to overcome, not accommodate sinful behavior. I love this article so much, that I sent it to everyone I know in an email along with the following:
Hello everyone!
One of my children came across this wonderful article (see "Forwarded message" below). I know that most of who I'm forwarding this to are on the same page with this, while others may not be. For those who may not be, just think of me as the "third friend." I hope we can all be like the "third friend." I know it's not easy, but it's what the Lord wants and needs us to do.
I encourage you to share this with your own circles of influence as, together, we, "... stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death ..." - Mosiah 18:9
Just a few other things that go along with this article, which have been on my mind a lot lately:
"... some are troubled by some of our Church’s positions on marriage and children. Our knowledge of God’s revealed plan of salvation requires us to oppose current social and legal pressures to retreat from traditional marriage and to make changes that confuse or alter gender or homogenize the differences between men and women. We know that the relationships, identities, and functions of men and women are essential to accomplish God’s great plan." - President Dallin H. Oaks - "Truth and the Plan" - October 2018 General Conference - https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2018/10/truth-and-the-plan?lang=eng
"Because a physical body is so central to the Father’s plan of happiness and our spiritual development, Lucifer seeks to frustrate our progression by tempting us to use our bodies improperly. President Russell M. Nelson has taught that spiritual safety ultimately lies in ‘never taking the first enticing step toward going where you should not go and doing what you should not do.’ … As human beings we all have [physical] appetites necessary for our survival. ‘These appetites are absolutely essential for the perpetuation of life. So, what does the adversary do? … He attacks us through our appetites. He tempts us to eat things we should not eat, to drink things we should not drink, and to love as we should not love!’” - Elder David A. Bednar - "Watchful unto Prayer Continually" - October 2019 General Conference - https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2019/10/22bednar?lang=eng
"But there are many we love, including some who have the restored gospel, who do not believe in or choose not to follow God’s commandments about marriage and the law of chastity. What about them?
"God’s doctrine shows that all of us are His children and that He has created us to have joy. Modern revelation teaches that God has provided a plan for a mortal experience in which all can choose obedience to seek His highest blessings or make choices that lead to one of the less glorious kingdoms. Because of God’s great love for all of His children, those lesser kingdoms are still more wonderful than mortals can comprehend. The Atonement of Jesus Christ makes all of this possible, as He 'glorifies the Father, and saves all the works of his hands.'" - President Dallin H. Oaks - "Two Great Commandments" - October 2019 General Conference/Women's Session - https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2019/10/35oaks?lang=eng
God's commandments about marriage and the law of chastity are eternal. There are no additions or changes forthcoming in the restoration of the gospel to suit the LGBTQ lifestyle (as I've seen some Latter-day Saints say). Remember, Sodom and Gomorrha were destroyed for a reason.
"And turning the cities of Sodom and Gomorrha into ashes condemned them with an overthrow, making them an ensample unto those that after should live ungodly." - 2 Peter 2:6
"Even as Sodom and Gomorrha, and the cities about them in like manner, giving themselves over to fornication, and going after strange flesh, are set forth for an example, suffering the vengeance of eternal fire." - Jude 1:7
"There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it." - 1 Corinthians 10:13
We all have our different and individual crosses to bear and overcome in this life. It's all part of the plan for our sakes. And, while the Lord often does not remove the obstacles, He absolutely makes us "able to bear it" as we choose to obey His laws and His ways, thereby making us stronger. There are no special laws, ways, exemptions or exceptions for those who choose to act on LGBTQ feelings ... or, for that matter, those who choose to act on heterosexual feelings outside of the bonds of marriage "according to My law." Those who have LGBTQ feelings, but do not act on them, are fully worthy before the Lord and will receive many eternal blessings for their obedience to God's laws. The Lord's laws, and blessings for following those laws, are equal across the board for all.
"Perhaps we need the gift to have our sexual feelings be in harmony with eternal laws." - Sister Wendy Watson Nelson - "Becoming the Person You Were Born to Be" - January 10, 2016 - BYU Hawaii - https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/broadcasts/article/worldwide-devotionals/2016/01/becoming-the-person-you-were-born-to-be?lang=eng
I'm seeing a lot of "... the very elect, who are the elect according to the covenant" being deceived. Fearing that I, too, may fall victim to deception, I pleaded with the Lord to help me know how to be protected from all such deception. He told me to treat the Book of Mormon very, very seriously and to never treat it lightly, otherwise my mind, too, would be darkened and I would also risk being deceived.
"In 1829, the Lord warned the Saints that they are not to trifle with sacred things (see D&C 6:12). Surely the Book of Mormon is a sacred thing, and yet many trifle with it, or in other words, take it lightly, treat it as though it is of little importance.
"In 1832, as some early missionaries returned from their fields of labor, the Lord reproved them for treating the Book of Mormon lightly. As a result of that attitude, he said, their minds had been darkened. Not only had treating this sacred book lightly brought a loss of light to themselves, it had also brought the whole Church under condemnation, even all the children of Zion. And then the Lord said, “And they shall remain under this condemnation until they repent and remember the new covenant, even the Book of Mormon” (D&C 84:54–57). - President Ezra Taft Benson - "The Book of Mormon: Keystone of Our Religion" - October 1986 General Conference - https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/1986/10/the-book-of-mormon-keystone-of-our-religion?lang=eng
My testimony of the blessings that come from following all of God's laws and ways (no matter how big, small or difficult they may seem), burns mightily within my soul! I must share! And if I receive any negative feedback for doing this, I will consider myself blessed to be persecuted for Christ's sake. "And blessed are all they who are persecuted for my name’s sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." - 3 Nephi 12:10. And I will follow what Lehi saw in his dream, when the people at the Tree of Life were mocked by those in the great and spacious building, "... but we heeded them not. ... For as many as heeded them, had fallen away." - 1 Nephi 8:33-34
This highlighted note at the top of President Oaks' talk, "Two Great Commandments" clears things up so well and puts everything about this subject into a neat and tidy little nutshell:
"We must try to keep both of the great commandments. To do so, we walk a fine line between law and love." - https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2019/10/35oaks?lang=eng
"We love Thy law; we will obey." - "Our Savior's Love" - Hymns, 113
Thank you for reading the following article!
Sincerely,
Sheri Champneys
---------- Forwarded message ---------
I came across this really great article, which goes along with everything we've been talking about lately...
https://mylifebygogogoff.com/2021/06/the-lie-about-loving-the-lgbtq-community-that-many-latter-day-saints-are-believing.html
* * *
By the way, this seems to apply today now more than ever before:
"And others will he pacify, and lull them away into carnal security, that they will say: All is well in Zion; yea, Zion prospereth, all is well—and thus the devil cheateth their souls, and leadeth them away carefully down to hell." - 2 Nephi 28:21
car·nal
/ˈkärnl/
adjective
relating to physical, especially sexual, needs and activities.
"carnal desire"
Hugely flawed analogy.
If your friend decided he didn’t want to be a lawyer and didn’t plan to take the bar exam, then the answer to this hypothetical is totally different. Ignoring your friend’s wishes and deciding you know “better” than your friend what’s best for him and therefore will not support his choices is not love.
Let LGBTQ people tell us how to love them, and then do it. Anything else is hubris, not love, no matter how well-intended. The measure of love is its impact not its intent, and the Church’s negative impact on LGBTQ folks and their families has an actual body count.
Also, FYI, LGBTQ people aren’t trying to party irresponsibly the night before the big test. That’s an insulting comparison. They are just trying to live and love like straight people do. Not the same.
Let's break that down Erin.
"If your friend decided he didn’t want to be a lawyer and didn’t plan to take the bar exam, then the answer to this hypothetical is totally different. Ignoring your friend’s wishes and deciding you know “better” than your friend what’s best for him and therefore will not support his choices is not love."
Your physical is not real. We CHOSE in the pre=earth life to come to earth. We FAUGHT to gain body and a chance to prove ourselves. The analogy is right, you are wrong.
"Let LGBTQ people tell us how to love them, and then do it. Anything else is hubris, not love, no matter how well-intended. The measure of love is its impact not its intent, and the Church’s negative impact on LGBTQ folks and their families has an actual body count."
NO! just no. God has defined how we are to love others. Just like a toddler screaming at his parents that they hate him for not letting him eat ice cream until he pukes it is illogical to forsake celestial love for a lower form of love.
"Also, FYI, LGBTQ people aren’t trying to party irresponsibly the night before the big test. That’s an insulting comparison. They are just trying to live and love like straight people do. Not the same."
No, it is an accurate comparison. Straight or LGBTQ it is simple, we are here to be tested if we are going to be OBEDIENT. We already agreed to this plan and fought for it. 'just trying to live' is not true. Straight or LGBTQ too many members are wanting to indulge the natural man. We are called to put off the natural man.
You said not to define people as anything else besides children of God, including not saying that they’re gay. But at the beginning of the article you said God is in a heterosexual relationship. So how come we can label God’s relationship, but we’re not supposed to label our own?
You are confusing relationships with identity.
I said you are a child of God, not your sexual orientation/relationship status/nationality, etc etc etc, you are a child of God. You can label your relationships, but they do not define you.
God is God. He might be in a heterosexual union, but that does not define Him any more than you being in a union defines you.
He is God, our Heavenly Father. You are a child of God. That relationship is our true identity, children of the Most High, loved by Deity with the potential to become like Him!
Thank you so much for this article. Very well said. If this is an inappropriate question to ask, please let me know, but I am genuinely curious.
Since you mentioned that you identify as gay and have chosen to live a celibate life… what do you believe is the solution? Do you believe that Christ’s Atonement will miraculously “cure” (for lack of a better term) our various sexual inclinations and effectively turn gay people straight in the next life? I apologize that this is poorly phrased, I don’t want this to come off as mocking, but I’m just really genuinely trying to understand this complex issue. I know we haven’t received revelation in this area so it’s all speculation, but since this is the reality you’re living in, I’m curious how you have come to terms with it. I appreciate your faith and your courage in sharing your testimony.
Hey Jenny,
I shared a quote from a member who experiences same-sex attraction, I do not myself. As far as the next life goes. We don't know the details, all we know is that before this life we desired a heterosexual eternal union that enables godhood. If we are worthy in this life, we will receive that reward.
Your article is timely and thought provoking. There is one statement that you made, however, which is somewhat misleading. It’s found under the heading “ Same-gender attraction is NOT sinful.”. The problem lies with your conclusion that “If you do not act on temptations, you have not transgressed”. The First Presidency clarified in the article you cite that while immoral thoughts are not as serious as immoral actions, they are still transgressions of which we must repent.
Temptations ≠ Thoughts.
Temptations that are entertained turn into thoughts. Thoughts that are entertained turn into actions.
Christ was tempted, He did not sin.
We can follow the example of Christ and reject temptations giving them no place to develop into thoughts, let alone actions.
A member who experiences same gender attraction and rejects the temptation, has not sinned.
But he they dwell on their attraction and think about same-gender relationships and sex, then they are sinning.
And then if they act on those thoughts they are in violation of covenants.
(I realize I am late in responding to this article, compared to the responses of others.)
I appreciate your article. It is a messy topic, in that practicing it is not straightforward and "old hat", though essential, but requires practice and trial-and-error, and some feelings may be hurt and toes stepped on. These kinds of difficult topics intrigue me.
There is something I do not understand; some logic that does not seem sound. I know what the doctrine is, but the way it is explained makes me wonder.
You state that the plan of salvation is based on a heterosexual union or couple, Heavenly Father and Heavenly Mother, and becoming like them is what we long for. (I completely believe this both of these statements, too.) Later, Elder Bednar says, "There are no homosexual members of the Church. We are not defined by sexual attraction. We are not defined by sexual behavior." You also state, "You are not gay. You are a child of God. Your sexuality does NOT define you or your potential."
My thought: by saying, "There are no homosexual members of the Church," by the same token, do we not also say, "There are no heterosexual members of the Church?" By saying, "your sexuality does not define you or your potential," and, "We are not defined by by sexual attraction. We are not defined by sexual behavior," does this not fly in the face of who are our Heavenly Parents are? It seems to me that part of who we are (children of God), includes being male or female--our gender. The fact that I am male and may someday be as Heavenly Father DOES define me. The fact that my wife is female and may someday be as Heavenly Mother DOES define her. I am heterosexual and that is part of the definition of me.
As I think through it, I come to realize that there are nuances and assumptions that do not immediately come through from the quoted words alone. In October 2023, Elder Christophe G. Giraud-Carrier said, "French is not who I am; it is where I was born. White is not who I am; it is the color of my skin, or lack thereof. Professor is not who I am; it is what I did to support my family. General Authority Seventy is not who I am; it is where I serve in the kingdom at this time." I have about these sentences. I have come to understand that our language does not encapsulate what we are actually saying when someone says, "I am French," or "I am black" or "I have depression." For one thing, when Elder Bednar said, "There are no homosexual members of the Church," I believe he was speaking to the body of the Church, including those who are striving to live righteously, despite what their bodies try to tell them.
I don't bring up these questions because I think there is something wrong with what Elder Bednar or Elder Giraud-Carrier said. I bring up these questions to delve into what they said, and because there was something I didn't understand.
I find that I am answering my own question. The identifying traits that Elders Bednar and Giraud-Carrier mention are traits because of our mortal condition, and not conditions of our being children of God. Depression, mental illness, tempers, low self-esteem, color of our skin, nationality, homesexuality, over-active or unbridled heterosexuality, and so forth, are imperfections because of mortality. We are defined, in part, by our heterosexuality, because it came from God and is something we need to become as He is. Saying, "there are no homosexual members of the Church" is akin to saying "There are no drunkard members of the Church" or "There are no chain-smokers in the Church."
In my view, we are defined (in part) by our heterosexuality and righteous sexual behavior, but not because it is in mortality, but because it is from God and is necessary for us to become as He is. From a strictly mortal point-of-view, and if we do not believe in anything beyond mortality, then, yes, if there are no homosexuals, then there are no heterosexuals, which confusion sounds like what Satan would have us believe.
I guess I should've been clearer, homosexual or same-sex attraction is an aspect of the fall of Adam, there are no homosexual spirits, and no one will have those attractions in the next life. It is NOT who you are.
That is why there is no such thing as a homosexual member of the Church, because we do NOT identify by temptations or fallen nature. ESPCIALLY when we KNOW it was not part of us before, and won't be after.
In contrast, the natural and divine, union between the sexes is NOT an aspect of the fall. Those desires and union not only CAN but for many people WILL exists after this life, we do not know about the premortal life but they are part of us now and they will remain after, unlike homosexual feelings.
And I use "sexuality" as your desired sexual orientation. Just because someone experiences the temptation of same gender attraction, does NOT define them. You are a son of God, your thorn in the flesh, your temporary temptation is not who you are.
It has to do with understanding the difference between love and relativism -- a distinction that many of today's "woke" crowd seem to have a lot of difficulty with.
Well written article. However, I must hasten to point out the question from the Temple Recommend Interview, "
5. The Lord has said that all things are to be “done in cleanliness” before Him (Doctrine and Covenants 42:41).
Do you strive for moral cleanliness in your thoughts and behavior?
Do you obey the law of chastity?
Our thoughts count. Not as much as our actions in this life, but in the Celestial Kingdom, even the thought is enough to have you removed. We don't exclude anyone from our meetings. This does not countenance anyone's sinful behavior. We invite all to meet with us so they, and we, can repent and become like Christ. This includes our thoughts and feelings.
Absolutely we are judged by both our thoughts and deeds. But there is a massive difference from a temptation (fleeting thought) and something we dwell on.
I am a married man in a Heterosexual Marriage, there are times I see attractive women and a thought enters my mind, and then I tell it "No, I am happily married and I love my wife!"
There is no sin with having that thought enter and immediately be rebuffed. The same applies to homosexual thoughts. If the reply is "No! I am striving to keep the Law of Chasity!" Then you have not sinned.
But if I dwell on that thought, or start fantasizing, you are right. Then I have sinned. The same with homosexual thoughts.
We have NO control over the thought coming into our mind, that is not a sin.
We DO have control over how we react, that is when we use our agency to either dismiss it, or embrace it.
Boyd K. Packer put it this way:
“The mind is like a stage. During every waking moment the curtain is up. There is always some act being performed on that stage. It may be a comedy, a tragedy, interesting or dull, good or bad; but always there is some act playing on the stage of your mind.
“Have you noticed that shady little thoughts may creep in from the wings and attract your attention in the middle of almost any performance and without any real intent on your part? These delinquent thoughts will try to upstage everybody. If you permit them to go on, all thoughts of any virtue will leave the stage. You will be left, because you consented to it, to the influence of unrighteous thoughts. … When they have the stage, if you let them, they will devise the most clever persuasions to hold your attention. They can make it interesting all right, even convince you that they are innocent, for they are but thoughts. What do you do at a time like that, when the stage of your mind is commandeered by the imps of unclean thinking, whether they be the gray ones that seem almost clean or the filthy ones that leave no room for doubt? If you can fill your mind with clean and constructive thoughts, then there will be no room for these persistent imps, and they will leave.”
President Boyd K. Packer of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, “Worthy Music, Worthy Thoughts,” New Era, Apr. 2008, 8.
I think it’s crazy how we wouldn’t advocate for some to rob a bank and wouldn’t drive them there, we wouldn’t tell them to lie in court, we wouldn’t justify them killing and help them pick out the weapon out of love but when it comes to the lqbtq issues we go very far and celebrate that they are living outside the gospel standards. Maybe my view is wrong but it’s how I view it.