How to Feel the Spirit When You Aren’t Feeling Anything

As a kid, I never wondered if the gospel was true or not because it always, just, was. There was nothing to doubt or debate, I had a witness from the spirit when I was about nine years old and I ran with it. I never really sought out more confirmations, but as I would study the scriptures or listen to talks that same reassuring feeling would come over me all over again of “this just makes so much sense.” It was like the spirit was giving me nudges along the way. I felt like the Spirit and I had a great understanding on how this communication thing was supposed to work—until we didn’t. I was about five months into serving as a missionary in Iowa when I fell out of sync with God… I had two companions at the time and we all seemed to be “feeling the spirit” leading us to do contradictory things. Multiple U-turns and a wasted day later, I was confused and frustrated.

Along with that, I was experiencing deep depression for the first time in my life and all of me seemed to go numb to almost any feeling at all. I didn’t realize at the time how much these two issues were connected to each other. I remember crying to God asking to feel loved again and to send his presence back to me, but nothing seemed to work. I felt abandoned. It wasn’t until months later in a new area that I realized that God didn’t abandon me, He was trying to teach me a new form of communication. A form of communication that He could use with me even though I was feeling depressed and numb, so I could know I wasn’t alone in my trial. He was trying to teach me how to listen to thoughts instead of just feelings. I was annoyed that He had to go and shake things up on me, but I felt desperate to feel connected to God again. And soon I realized how much more specific thoughts can be.

Relearning How to Listen to God

During this time, a scripture I memorized in seminary came to mind: “Yea, behold, I will tell you in your mind and in your heart, by the Holy Ghost, which shall come upon you and which shall dwell in your heart. Now, behold, this is the spirit of revelation” (D&C 8:2-3; emphasis added).

Instead of thinking of someone and feeling like I should reach out to her, I was learning to recognize the promptings to the mind as well. I would think about how this particular scripture or quote might help that person and that I should text her. I was able to receive specific instructions on how to help people, rather than just feeling like I should somehow help them. The problem I ran into was, if the Spirit sounded like my own thoughts, how was I supposed to tell the difference between a thought I was having, and a prompting from the Spirit?

I told myself from that day that if I ever had a thought twice, I would follow through with it. I would pray every day and would tell God that I wanted to be an instrument in His hands that day, I would just need help in recognizing His instructions. And it took time, but the help did come. It turned out that God never stopped talking with me. He was just sharing with me in a new way, but I was so busy trying to hear Him in the old way that I was actually ignoring Him. Now, I get promptings both by thoughts and by feelings (like that scripture says, He speaks to us “in mind and in our heart”).

You Don’t Always Feel the Spirit

So, if you are having a hard time hearing Him through those warm feelings you used to get or that other people have described, let this be a help.

First, remember promptings can come as feelings or as thoughts, among many other ways! No way is necessarily better than another, but it is necessary that we open ourselves up to receiving guidance in a way we aren’t used to. Sometimes it might come through something a friend says. Sometimes it comes from reading a talk or a scripture. Others might have a dream. In many cases, it will be a thought or a feeling. Being open to utilizing all of God’s avenues of communication will help you realize that even if one particular way isn’t working, the heavens are not closed to you. Truly His arm is stretched out still.

Thoughts about Serving Others: Is It Just Me Thinking or Inspiration?

Another thing that I repeat to myself often is Camile Kimball’s advice to “Never suppress a generous thought” (As quoted by Julie B. Beck, GC: Oct. 2009). If you have a thought to do something kind for someone, why not do it? Sometimes it only takes a moment to do, like sending a text. It is surprising how often we resist those thoughts, even when it is so simple. How often though does God see the details of people’s lives and knows the benefit that text could have for that person?

Sometimes I do something thinking it is a spiritual prompting, but then nothing significant comes from it. That used to make me less willing to do something next time, until I realized that we don’t really know why or who God is trying to help in that moment. You might feel like you should drop off some extra cookies to a neighbor only to leave them at an unanswered door. Maybe the prompting so you could show your daughter who came with you how we can serve others in little ways.

Sometimes a generous thought is very inconvenient to our lives, or we don’t feel like we have the capacity to follow through with it. This is when I stop and take it to God in prayer. I tell my Heavenly Father that I am willing to do it, but that I need His help to do it, and I need to know that this is actually what he would like me to do. Sometimes I get distracted before I can act on it and the thought doesn’t come back, other times I offer my help but it isn’t needed after all. And sometimes I offer to help and I am lifted to be able to do what I didn’t think was possible.

Is This What God Wants Me to Do or What I Want to Do?

So, what about revelation that isn’t about serving others, but is directions for yourself? First, your revelations will never tell you to do something contrary to the teachings of the gospel or His Prophet. It is all coming from the same source, so rely on those two things as your first test before anything else. Then, if you think the idea came from God and aligns with His previous teachings, go for it and see how it turns out. Sometimes we will be like Elder Holland and his son where you get a short distance down the road only to find a dead-end or strong sense of foreboding, so you can confidently turn around and know the other path is the correct one. (See https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNQC-_srxH8) God will never let you go too far down the wrong path if you are sincerely asking and listening for answers.

Other times, you will start down a path and feel good about it, excited even! You might find ‘little confirmations’ along the way that it is the right way to go. The important part is that you start acting and continually go to God in prayer saying, “I want to follow Thy plan for me, and I think this is it, so I am going to keep heading in this direction unless I feel like you are telling me otherwise.” God doesn’t want to have to command us in all things (See D&C 58:26), but as a loving Parent, He always loves it when we check in with Him.

Why Can’t I Feel any Comfort When I Need it so Badly?

But what if I am praying for comfort, but none is coming? I was right there with you. I felt like I was trying my best every day but then breaking down on my knees every night in prayer begging for some proof that I hadn’t been abandoned. And often throughout the day. Life felt so hopeless and I wasn’t sure how I kept getting out of bed and out the door most days. My heart goes out to anyone feeling this way, and the only advice I have for you is to keep going. You will have to sit in this for a season, but I promise you it will only be for a season. Joseph Smith was in liberty jail for four months—an entire winter—before he was released. The people of Ammon in the Book of Mormon, as righteous as they were, were suppressed for a long time too before they received comfort from God, and even longer until they were delivered out of the hands of their enemies. There is a greater strength you gain from having to wait on the Lord in a hard circumstance that makes the overcoming of it all the more miraculous.

Imagine if Joseph Smith and his friends only had to spend one night in that prison, do you think he would have been changed by the experience? How about a week? I think it would have been a bad memory, but not become a defining moment of his life. How many sections of the Doctrine and Covenants would we have lost if it was only a day or a week?

The duration has a purpose. Our Heavenly Father doesn’t want us to be unhappy, but he also loves us enough to let us go through hard things for exactly how long we need to so we can come out being the best possible version of ourselves. So, I know it is hard, but keep going. Keep praying. Keep striving. Ask for the little help along the way as well as out of the big deliverance from your trials and you will begin to notice the little aid He sends before the greater relief.

Most Importantly

The biggest takeaway I hope you get from this is: “God loves you and is always trying to reach out to you, even if you cannot feel it.” I know this, and I want you to know it as much as I do. Try to open yourself up to receiving answers in new ways. Make your prayers more frequent and heartfelt. I promise you that even though you are having trouble hearing Heavenly Father, He has no trouble hearing you. So, know He is listening. And if you keep trying you will get there.
~Emily Goff (the wife of Jeremy Goff aka GoGo Goff).

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