5 Things Missionaries Wish Church Members Knew
As a missionary in the Manchester New Hampshire Mission, I often had things I wanted to tell the members, but I did not. I thought maybe it was only my feelings or my mission. But in the 19 months, since I got home, I’ve had the chance to talk and work with missionaries in North Dakota, South Carolina, Tennessee, Utah, and California, and elsewhere. After talking with many returned missionaries, I found most of us feel the same. Here is what a lot of us think. Spoiler, we think a lot like you do!
- Member meals are not about food.
It’s not about the food. Trust us, we like the food, and I’d never pass up a tasty homemade meal. But it is feeling wanted and loved by the members that we need, and it feeds our spirit, and yours! When we knock doors all day and get rejected time and time again, we get discouraged. But when we go to church, and no wants us to come over, we feel rejected by our church (members).
When people ask us to come over dinner, it also renews us and inspires us to keep trying. Feeling your love eases our stress and fears. Let us come over to your house, and we can all feast on the Gospel together!
- Sharing the Gospel scared us to death
Just because we have a name tag does not mean it’s easy to share the gospel. A lot of us have anxiety, and it is awkward for us to talk to people, we’re just like you. We’ve been set apart to do it, but blindly knocking on a door is very difficult and awkward! It took most of us a long time to overcome our fears. Let us help you overcome your fear!
- We want to help people
We want to help people, it does not matter how we do it; we want to feel useful. When I was serving in Ellsworth Maine, one of the families we were teaching got told a bunch of nasty lies about the church and missionaries in general. They told us they did not want us to come over ever again.
This family was having a house built for them by the Habitat For Humanity, and every Saturday morning, we had been helping build their home. We still loved this family and wanted to serve them, even if they hated us. So after this happened, we still went every Saturday to help build their house. Because of this, the other people helping build the house were shocked! Why did we still come even though they did not like us? It’s simple; we wanted to help them because we loved them.
Let us get to know and love your friends!
- We don’t want to be “That missionary.”
If you’ve been a member for any length of time you’ve run into “that missionary”… The one that just left a bad taste in your mouth, maybe he was overly assertive or was too bold, or perhaps just rude. The fact is it just happens and is part of the missionary cycle, there are fantastic missionaries, and then not so awesome missionaries.
Most of us don’t want to be “that missionary” we want to earn your trust and feel like we helped someone. And if we are “that missionary” don’t hold it against other missionaries. Nothing is more frustrating as a missionary than the assignment to “clean up an area” aka try to repair the damage another missionary has caused. PLEASE Let us earn your trust, and give us a chance even if you’ve had a bad experience before.
- We don’t want to get trunky, and you can help us.
Before my mission, I had set a goal that I did not want to get “trunky” on my mission. It is naturally hard to do, but it is not helpful when members or missionaries are continually counting down the days till we go home. We don’t need to be reminded of when we are going home, even if you’re just “teasing” it is hard on us. We want to serve the Lord with our whole heart, and you can have a significant effect on either making or breaking us.
The cover photo for this article was taken the day before I finished my mission, I am on the right, and my last companion on the left. When I first arrived in Cornish Maine, I told Elder Millis I don’t want to get trunky, and he said he would help me. For the next three months, he supported me, and we were able to give the Lord our whole heart. The morning I went home as we were preparing for a transfer meeting he told me. “Wow, you did not get trunky.” Members and Missionaries can make a difference. Help us to endure to the end, please don’t try to make us trunky.
Conclusion
Missionaries are people too! We’ve had to overcome a lot of fears to be serving a mission. We long to feel valued by the ward/branches we are in. When we feel loved, we work far harder, and we are happy.

Gail Bryning
Tuesday 30th of July 2019
What is trunky ? We all our insecure and fragile and i can see how you feel and identify with being wide open to the struggles you Missionaries face we to are struggling in our lives but you sweet brave young men and women are our examples of how we should be interested and involved in sharing the Gospel with others I am sorry that we fall short and disappoint you sweet tender youth. We do love you that I know please forgive us and know we admire you all. Gail Bryning
Jeremy
Thursday 1st of August 2019
Trunky comes from the old missionary days when you had a trunk that all your personal belongings went into, being trunky is when a missionary packed their trunk early waiting to go home. Nowadays it means a homesick missionary.
Barbie Miller ( sister miller )
Wednesday 19th of June 2019
Thank you for sharing Missionaries and Elders do amazing work I know mine do
Lysa
Friday 16th of November 2018
I am fairly new member since 2015. I am a single mother with younger children and a teenager. I have had at least 20 different missionaries in my home. I currently have two adorable sister missionaries come every night to help me establish scripture study nightly. They are the sweeties most patient sisters I have ever met. I also keep in touch with the first missionaries that baptized me and taught my teenage daughter. My daughter has not fully accepted the and refuses to even attend church. However, I have seen many times whether I went with the missionaries for new investigators or in my own home how our Heavenly Father blessed the missionaries with wisdom beyond their young years. And following them after they go back home I still see our Heavenly blessing after their mission. I know the church is true and that the missionaries are not perfect but as they follow the teachings of the restored gospel that lives will be and have been blessed through their efforts and sacrifices. I was 55 years old before I new about the church and only regrets wish I had know sooner. Keep up the awesome work praying for each missionary that has taking time to do the Fathers will !!
Gary M Rawlings
Thursday 15th of November 2018
Way back in my missionary days in the '60s, we didn't expect dinner invitations. We still visited families when we could and enjoyed the association. When we got a dinner invite, it was rare, except for Thanksgiving. One time my companion and I each accepted an invite and instead of faithfully trying to back out of one, we ate at both. Nevertheless, you know how we felt that evening.
Brother & Sister Wallace
Wednesday 25th of April 2018
We have really enjoyed having the missionaries in our home over the last few years we appreciate you guys and love you we know it's hard and we appreciate all you do.