5 Things Missionaries Wish Church Members Knew
5 Things Missionaries Wish Church Members Knew
As a missionary in the Manchester New Hampshire Mission, I often had things I wanted to tell the members, but I did not. I thought maybe it was only my feelings or my mission. But in the 19 months, since I got home, I've had the chance to talk and work with missionaries in North Dakota, South Carolina, Tennessee, Utah, and California, and elsewhere. After talking with many returned missionaries, I found most of us feel the same. Here is what a lot of us think. Spoiler, we think a lot like you do!
- Member meals are not about food.
It's not about the food. Trust us, we like the food, and I'd never pass up a tasty homemade meal. But it is feeling wanted and loved by the members that we need, and it feeds our spirit, and yours! When we knock doors all day and get rejected time and time again, we get discouraged. But when we go to church, and no wants us to come over, we feel rejected by our church (members).
When people ask us to come over dinner, it also renews us and inspires us to keep trying. Feeling your love eases our stress and fears. Let us come over to your house, and we can all feast on the Gospel together!
- Sharing the Gospel scared us to death
Just because we have a name tag does not mean it's easy to share the gospel. A lot of us have anxiety, and it is awkward for us to talk to people, we're just like you. We've been set apart to do it, but blindly knocking on a door is very difficult and awkward! It took most of us a long time to overcome our fears. Let us help you overcome your fear!
- We want to help people
We want to help people, it does not matter how we do it; we want to feel useful. When I was serving in Ellsworth Maine, one of the families we were teaching got told a bunch of nasty lies about the church and missionaries in general. They told us they did not want us to come over ever again.
This family was having a house built for them by the Habitat For Humanity, and every Saturday morning, we had been helping build their home. We still loved this family and wanted to serve them, even if they hated us. So after this happened, we still went every Saturday to help build their house. Because of this, the other people helping build the house were shocked! Why did we still come even though they did not like us? It's simple; we wanted to help them because we loved them.
Let us get to know and love your friends!
- We don't want to be "That missionary."
If you've been a member for any length of time you've run into "that missionary"... The one that just left a bad taste in your mouth, maybe he was overly assertive or was too bold, or perhaps just rude. The fact is it just happens and is part of the missionary cycle, there are fantastic missionaries, and then not so awesome missionaries.
Most of us don't want to be "that missionary" we want to earn your trust and feel like we helped someone. And if we are "that missionary" don't hold it against other missionaries. Nothing is more frustrating as a missionary than the assignment to "clean up an area" aka try to repair the damage another missionary has caused. PLEASE Let us earn your trust, and give us a chance even if you've had a bad experience before.
- We don't want to get trunky, and you can help us.
Before my mission, I had set a goal that I did not want to get "trunky" on my mission. It is naturally hard to do, but it is not helpful when members or missionaries are continually counting down the days till we go home. We don't need to be reminded of when we are going home, even if you're just "teasing" it is hard on us. We want to serve the Lord with our whole heart, and you can have a significant effect on either making or breaking us.
The cover photo for this article was taken the day before I finished my mission, I am on the right, and my last companion on the left. When I first arrived in Cornish Maine, I told Elder Millis I don't want to get trunky, and he said he would help me. For the next three months, he supported me, and we were able to give the Lord our whole heart. The morning I went home as we were preparing for a transfer meeting he told me. "Wow, you did not get trunky." Members and Missionaries can make a difference. Help us to endure to the end, please don't try to make us trunky.
Conclusion
Missionaries are people too! We've had to overcome a lot of fears to be serving a mission. We long to feel valued by the ward/branches we are in. When we feel loved, we work far harder, and we are happy.
Hello missionary, I'll start by saying how proud I am of the courage you have shown in writing on such a sensitive yet personal topic. I'm fairly a new convert just about 18 months. I was baptized on June 21, 2014. However, I have been investigating what I call today a true modern day church. I can truly say that I appreciated each time the missionary's would come by. See I live in an upper to middle-class neighborhood mostly executives, CEOs, Educators, and Business Owners. I had met a young lady many years ago who was born in the church, and we became friends. She would say, "I always want you to know the truth". So quite often she would ask me if I. Would like her to ask the Missionaries to come by and share the goose restoration or just to discuss conference talks with me. This is how I started having the Missionary's come to my home. Given my challenge with my business and all the traveling, it entailed while trying to raise two children with a then spouse who didn't want to study the Gospel of Jesus Christ it was refreshing to be able to talk freely with the missionary's every chance I had. Even attended the enrichments activity and go to Stake meetings when my long term friend would invite me. Oh, by the way, it's been over twenty years and her son is currently serving on a mission in Italy, he was only 2 years old when I met her family. I share this with you because I want to encourage you to never give up on your calling. There are people who really want to hear and know the truth. Keep searching knock on those doors and smile because they too want a hope and you're that faithful face that they wished they could be. You're not getting rejected because of who you are but because of what your examples of. Your showing up arson robes door reminds them of Jesus Christ love for a lost soul. One who may even feel like they understand and don't want to talk with you but you can be assured that just by you thinking enough to stop at their home makes them feel pretty special. With-out you the world would never now how Christ truly loves us unconditionally. I live in North Carolina and don't think that people are any different where you are no matter how large the house may be or type of car they drive or how much money in the bank they have. Please know we all still need the gospel to keep us grounded and to feel like we truly have a safe place.
Thanks Cea, you brought tears to my eyes.
Both my sons served in the England Manchester mission. They worked hard.
The members were very good to them.
Missionaries need to feel loved, their families need to know that they are being taken care of too.
You missionaries keep up the good work. I love having the missionaries over, they bring a special Spirit with them.
They also bring a smile to my face.
We so love having the missionaries in our home as often as we can, either for dinner, or teaching investigators or my family, the spirit they bring with them is wonderful.
You mentioned both your sons served in England Manchester Mission....who were they?? I live in the Swinton Ward of that mission, maybe we had the honour of them in our home.
Thank you for this powerful and humble reminder.
If number one is true why have the missionaries been no shows every single time I have signed up to feed them? It was several times and happened every single time! Not a call or anything....
Because some missionaries are immature and inconsiderate. They are "that missionary" the good ones won't do that.
They are teenage boys. They forget stuff. Mission leaders forget to tell them stuff. More leftovers for you! You'll be blessed for being willing. I hope you keep offering and I really hope some lucky missionaries get the joy you are willing to share. 🙂
It is sad that you did not receive an e-mail or call to cancel. Usually, missionaries miss these appointments because they are teaching or giving service in some way. Other missionaries are not good at checking planners or entering dinner appointments in them. This is one time when the saying, "It's not about you, it's about me.", is true. Sorry for your frustration.
Clark
They should have the courtesy to at least call the day before if they were not coming. I don't know what mission you live in but if you are a single female under the age of 60 they cannot come without another male over the age of 18 in the home.
They could come if you had another male friend in attendance.
Hello there, I too served in the NHMM!!! '09-'11. Born in haverhill, mass and died in skowhegan, me. I know exactly ever feeling you have described, I have yet to return and I long to be back with those I served. I loved each and every one of them.
So if its not the food, getting them a gift certificate for Swiss Chalet is pointless, correct?
Like I said, we do love food, but we care more about the company.
I love missionaries in our home .So true it is not about the food we feed them.Trust me they are delighted to participate in a humble meal served .We love the spirit they bring in our homes and the influennce they have to young men that one day they would like to be on a mission field .Well when friends and family come to visit and the missionaries are there even better .So our home is open for these elders with their impefections ...just like anybody .Mission field does not perfect them but make them better people that yesterday .
I appreciate the insights share by these return missionaries. I know for a fact that a lot of it to be true. I am involved in missionary work in my ward and have experienced the same things that have been shared, however not all the missionaries are the same and have come from all different backgrounds. I know this one thing to be true. If the missionaries work hand in hand with the ward members the success is enormous and the conversion rate is much higher. The experiences that the ward members have can be shared and can be the best tools in missionary work. Sometimes our missionaries wants the focus to be on them instead of the gospel of Jesus Christ.
My daughter is serving In the NHMM right now. You said exactly the same thoughts she has had. Nicely done sir! A portion of her last email:
Yesterday and today have both been good; things are starting to turn around. Oh and another thing, I keep getting more and more confirmations that you really do need to be friends with the members if you want any success as a missionary. Since Sister M. has been here and since we've been laughing and joking around with the members, our member meals have gone up a bunch! And we are getting more trust with the members. You know what that means?! More referrals! Which is just what we need. Sometimes it’s hard but it will be good. It's good for everyone, plus I know coming back I have a whole 'family' waiting back here for me after a hard day and that’s a good feeling.
One more thing - I noticed sometimes members when they are on splits don't know when to be quiet and let the spirit work.
The first missionaries were great. They have gotten progressively worse. How did I know this day would finally come. The whole experience has brought me to a point of wanting nothing further to do with the LDS.
I'm sorry to hear that. What's going on?
Being a convert of 10 years ,What is trunky (lol)
We love our missionaries, we live in Anaheim, CA.
We go to the Cypress crescent ward.
Thank you for your service
Love❤️
Our missionaries can't come and eat in peoples' homes unless you have investigators over too. We only know members, and people who are not interested. Therefore we cannot feed them. We really miss that. Must be a "mission rule" and not widespread as your article makes apparent. We lived in .CA before this and no such rule existed.
We have had the rule that we couldn't have missionaries in our home unless there was an investigator. Then other times that rule didn't exist. I wonder if that particular rule is depending on the mission president. We live in Iowa and too far away from where the missionaries live for them to use their miles to come have a meal with us. We usually will take them out if we can afford to do so. We help them with visiting investigators which is great fun. Being a convert I can appreciate what it's like to live without the Gospel. I would hope our area would produce more investigators for our missionaries to teach that would accept the Gospel and not walk away. We've had two sons who have served and love those members and investigators who cared for them in ways they needed.
I always tell the missiona is
ries how wonderful they are. we talk about the gospel.
I would like to see an article for young missionaries about what they should NOT do when they visit a partially active family they don't even know.
The social skills of missionaries has seen a massive drop, combine that with the fact most missionaries have also lost almost all of the finer skills of missionary work due to being trained by a missionary who was too new. Yes, our missionaries are far less effective than in the past.
We have really enjoyed having the missionaries in our home over the last few years we appreciate you guys and love you we know it's hard and we appreciate all you do.
Way back in my missionary days in the '60s, we didn't expect dinner invitations. We still visited families when we could and enjoyed the association. When we got a dinner invite, it was rare, except for Thanksgiving. One time my companion and I each accepted an invite and instead of faithfully trying to back out of one, we ate at both. Nevertheless, you know how we felt that evening.
I am fairly new member since 2015. I am a single mother with younger children and a teenager. I have had at least 20 different missionaries in my home. I currently have two adorable sister missionaries come every night to help me establish scripture study nightly. They are the sweeties most patient sisters I have ever met. I also keep in touch with the first missionaries that baptized me and taught my teenage daughter. My daughter has not fully accepted the and refuses to even attend church. However, I have seen many times whether I went with the missionaries for new investigators or in my own home how our Heavenly Father blessed the missionaries with wisdom beyond their young years. And following them after they go back home I still see our Heavenly blessing after their mission. I know the church is true and that the missionaries are not perfect but as they follow the teachings of the restored gospel that lives will be and have been blessed through their efforts and sacrifices. I was 55 years old before I new about the church and only regrets wish I had know sooner. Keep up the awesome work praying for each missionary that has taking time to do the Fathers will !!
Thank you for sharing Missionaries and Elders do amazing work I know mine do
What is trunky ?
We all our insecure and fragile and i can see how you feel and identify with being wide open to the struggles you Missionaries face we to are struggling in our lives but you sweet brave young men and women are our examples of how we should be interested and involved in sharing the Gospel with others I am sorry that we fall short and disappoint you sweet tender youth.
We do love you that I know please forgive us and know we admire you all.
Gail Bryning
Trunky comes from the old missionary days when you had a trunk that all your personal belongings went into, being trunky is when a missionary packed their trunk early waiting to go home. Nowadays it means a homesick missionary.