The Most Comforting Doctrine Joseph Smith Taught.
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On my mission, I loved teaching the doctrine of eternal families. After all, that is why my mother joined the Church. But inevitably after teaching about how families can be together forever in the Celestial Kingdom, someone would ask the million-dollar question, "What happens if I do everything right and one of my kids goes to the other kingdom, how can our family be together?" And for the longest time, my only reply was "God is a loving Father, I don't know what He will do, but rest assured you will be ok with it." I did not know everything but I knew enough to walk by faith.
The Power of Sealings.
Halfway through my mission, I found the answer to this question. The answer to this question is actually a better understanding of the very sealing powers that make an eternal family even possible. In the April 1929 General Conference, Orson F. Whitney expounded on the doctrine of temple sealings, I quote him:
“The Prophet Joseph Smith declared—and he never taught a more comforting doctrine—that the eternal sealings of faithful parents and the divine promises made to them for valiant service in the Cause of Truth, would save not only themselves, but likewise their posterity. Though some of the sheep may wander, the eye of the Shepherd is upon them, and sooner or later they will feel the tentacles of Divine Providence reaching out after them and drawing them back to the fold. Either in this life or the life to come, they will return. They will have to pay their debt to justice; they will suffer for their sins; and may tread a thorny path; but if it leads them at last, like the penitent Prodigal, to a loving and forgiving father’s heart and home, the painful experience will not have been in vain. Pray for your careless and disobedient children; hold on to them with your faith. Hope on, trust on, till you see the salvation of God.”
Orson F. Whitney, in Conference Report, Apr. 1929, p. 110.
Hope For Wayward Children.
For anyone with a wayward child, this truly must be the most comforting doctrine! That if they hold true to their covenants one day God will reach out to their children to draw them home. Now it is important to understand that this does not overrule their agency. Expounding on this quote President Faust taught in the April 2003 general conference:
“A principle in this statement that is often overlooked is that they must fully repent and ‘suffer for their sins’ and ‘pay their debt to justice.’ I recognize that now is the time ‘to prepare to meet God’ [Alma 34:32]. If the repentance of the wayward children does not happen in this life, is it still possible for the cords of the sealing to be strong enough for them yet to work out their repentance? In the Doctrine and Covenants we are told,
'The dead who repent will be redeemed, through obedience to the ordinances of the house of God,
And after they have paid the penalty of their transgressions, and are washed clean, shall receive a reward according to their works, for they are heirs of salvation’ [D&C 138:58–59]."James E. Faust, “Dear Are the Sheep That Have Wandered,” Ensign,May 2003, 62.
From President Faust, we learn that agency, including its consequences, is in full effect. We learn that the faithful keeping of the sealing covenant by parents does not save their kids, but rather parents who are faithfully keeping their sealing covenants are promised that the Lord will use extraordinary means to bring them home (without violating their agency). Elder David A. Bednar in March 2014 Ensign expounded on President Faust's comments and this doctrine when he taught:
The influence of parents who honor covenants and obey commandments indeed can have a decisive spiritual impact upon children who stray by activating the tentacles of divine Providence—in ways that have not been revealed fully and are not understood completely. However, righteous parental influence (1) does not replace in the life of an individual the need for the redeeming and strengthening power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, (2) does not overrule the consequences of the unrighteous exercise of moral agency, and (3) does not negate the responsibility of an individual as an agent “to act … and not to be acted upon” (2 Nephi 2:26).
David A. Bednar, "Faithful Parents and Wayward Children," Ensign, March 2014.
Inheritance Spent.
When this doctrine is first understood one might be tempted to think, "Eat, drink, and be merry " (2 Nephi 28:7), and our we can repent and be exalted later. This is a false idea. President Faust warned against this notion by illustrating part of the parable of the Prodigal Son that we often overlook.
“We remember that the prodigal son wasted his inheritance, and when it was all gone he came back to his father’s house. There he was welcomed back into the family, but his inheritance was spent. [See Luke 15:11–32.] Mercy will not rob justice, and the sealing power of faithful parents will only claim wayward children upon the condition of their repentance and Christ’s Atonement. Repentant wayward children will enjoy salvation and all the blessings that go with it, but exaltation is much more. It must be fully earned. The question as to who will be exalted must be left to the Lord in His mercy. "
James E. Faust, “Dear Are the Sheep That Have Wandered,” Ensign, May 2003, 62.
Yes, if someone repents with full purpose of heart in this life they can be exalted, but let us be wary of Satan's lie that we can procrastinate our repentance till the next life and still enjoy the reward reserved for the faithful. Whereas through repentance and the sealing power you may be enabled to go to the Celestial Kingdom to be with your righteous parents, if you want the blessings of eternal life then one must live worthy of exaltation.
Conclusion.
Because in the church we strive to teach people the requirements for exaltation, not just salvation, this doctrine is not always properly emphasized. But emphasized or not, the comfort to parents of wayward children that this doctrine brings is immeasurable. So teach your kids the requirements of exaltation, keep your covenants, and hold fast to the promises of keeping your covenants!
Here are some amazing quotes on this topic:
“Let the father and mother, who are members of this Church and Kingdom, take a righteous course, and strive with all their might never to do a wrong, but to do good all their lives; if they have one child or one hundred children, if they conduct themselves towards them as they should, binding them to the Lord by their faith and prayers, I care not where those children go, they are bound up to their parents by an everlasting tie, and no power of earth or hell can separate them from their parents in eternity; they will return again to the fountain from whence they sprang”
Brigham Young (quoted in Joseph Fielding Smith, Doctrines of Salvation, comp. Bruce R. McConkie, 3 vols. [1954–56], 2:90–91).
“If you succeed in passing through these trials and afflictions and receive a resurrection, you will, by the power of the Priesthood, work and labor, as the Son of God has, until you get all your sons and daughters in the path of exaltation and glory. This is just as sure as that the sun rose this morning over yonder mountains. Therefore, mourn not because all your sons and daughters do not follow in the path that you have marked out to them, or give heed to your counsels. Inasmuch as we succeed in securing eternal glory, and stand as saviors, and as kings and priests to our God, we will save our posterity”
Lorenzo Snow (in Collected Discourses, comp. Brian H. Stuy, 5 vols. [1987–92], 3:364).
“It is not uncommon for responsible parents to lose one of their children, for a time, to influences over which they have no control. They agonize over rebellious sons or daughters. They are puzzled over why they are so helpless when they have tried so hard to do what they should. It is my conviction that those wicked influences one day will be overruled. … We cannot overemphasize the value of temple marriage, the binding ties of the sealing ordinance, and the standards of worthiness required of them. When parents keep the covenants they have made at the altar of the temple, their children will be forever bound to them”
Boyd K. Packer “Our Moral Environment,” Ensign, May 1992, 68.
Here are some amazing conference talks/Ensign articles on this topic:
Our Moral Environment by Boyd K. Packer
Dear Are the Sheep That Have Wandered by James E. Faust
Blessing our families through our covenants by Kathleen H. Hughes
Faithful Parents and Wayward Children by David A. Bednar
my husband and I were married in the lai'e temple here in Hawaii in 1980 after 29 yrs of our massage my husband went to the Philippines and he had an affair with another women there for his 3 weeks there being that we were still married as husband n wife so we had had our talk with our bishop what can be done to hold our marriage but, my husband did not want to hold our marriage counseling did not work for him, we had our son n daughter sealed to us as babies in the lai'e temple he was faithful to me till he went to the,Philippines. I stayed alone while he did his thing. contacting this women in the Philippines he went to Philippines several times to be with this women before the divorce he was interviewed by the stake President several times about this matter but he told alot of lies. I could not stand any more of his lies, in 2009 i filed for a divorce from my husband all transaction n paper work went through with my attorney in 2010 Feb. the divorce was granted my 2 children are adults now and have FAMILIES of their own but, they are now inactive after our divorce I need advice.
Keep your end of the covenants. God will not deprive you of a blessing because of the actions of someone else.
Sister Pula-
I encourage you to stay faithful to YOUR covenants so that you can inherit the blessings promised you in D&C 132:19, as well retaining the rights and blessings to and for your children. These blessings are independent of whether or not your (ex) husband keeps his.
We often forget that the Abrahamic covenant is one the Lord makes with each of us INDIVIDUALLY. We see this clearly when it is baptism (one of the covenants): the fact that YOU keep your baptismal covenant and your husband does not, does NOT negate YOUR baptismal covenant.
We see it clearly in the endowment. The fact that YOU keep your endowment covenant and your husband doesn't, does not negate YOUR endowment covenant.
It is the same with the new and everlasting (abrahamic) covenant. Remember that when you knelt across the altar, you were not facing each other--you faced THE LORD (represented by the Sealer.) Your husband made a covenant with the Lord. Individually. Then YOU made a covenant with the Lord. Individually. Then because each of you made an INDIVIDUAL covenant with the Lord, the Lord blessed EACH of you with the promises found in the D&C 132:19, and the right of eternal parentage and posterity.
These blessings are YOURS Sister Pula, regardless of what your (ex) husband did or does not do, as long as YOU stay faithful.
I pray for your continued faithfulness and strength, and send you my love. I have walked this same path, and know of the healing power of the Savior's love.
Mercy and justice explained very well.
It's fascinating when you realize this is a Restoration Doctrine, meaning a doctrine that we have due to the restoration of the gospel. It's not found by the naked eye in the Bible, or even in the Book of Mormon, for example, Matthew 16:19, Matthew 18:18 "bind/loose on earth/heaven" gives rise to the question bind/loose what? Or the story of Elijah (which tends to refer more to natural elements) The bible is silent. Even Helaman 10:7 infers natural elements more akin to Elijah's story. We (as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) "know" what the sealing power refers to because we can look through the lens of the restoration. Even what little we know of the Abrahamic covenant (via the Bible or Pearl of Great Price) is vague.
It's not until we read revelation through the restoration, namely the Doctrine and Covenants that we get any true clarity on what this means (ref. D&C 7, D&C 27, D&C 131, D&C 132, D&C 138.)
It makes perfect sense that the doctrine that families can be together forever via the new and everlasting covenant would be missing from the Bible. After all, it is THE work of the Father. Why wouldn't Satan have done everything in his power to obscure this powerful, meaningful doctrine in order to thwart the plan of the Father?
Very insightful article that gives me great peace of mind. Thank you for including so many quotes from church leaders. After having three children leave the church this topic is a sensitive one for me. I will never give up hope or stop praying for my children.
I love the promises given herein of the powers of the sealing covenant as I and my wife were sealed and had seven children, all of whom grew up in the church and gospel until they graduated from high school. Then they all fell off the wagon and stopped attending church, and experienced life to its fullest! Then me and my wife split and only I was attending church, although one girl did come back. Now we have re-married and three girls have taken out their endowments, so all is not lost. And I will not stop praying for the other lost sheep and will always include them in all that we do. They are ours if will never stop keeping the commandments, they are believers.....now to get them practicers!!
What happens when only one parent is faithful?
I am not sure, but I am pretty sure that a faithful and loving God has considered that and will not deny blessings to you because of the actions of another.
Important reading articles on the doctrine of Christ,
I think people mistakenly think this means all their children that have been sealed to them will end up in the celestial kingdom. This idea rejects free agency. This would mean that Adam and Eve's son Cain will be in the celestial kingdom -- but we know from the scriptures that that is not true.
Correct, agency will be respected, but the atonement and the power of repentance are far greater than we realize.
Does anyone know the original source material where this particular teaching of Joseph came from? I’ve been looking and can’t find it thus far. If it was the most comforting doctrine Joseph ever taught, I’d guess I’d like to see where and how he taught it during his lifetime in the historical records. Thanks!
One of the problems with early church history was note keeping. The King Follett Sermon was an off the cuff discourse and the notes we have from it came from a member who literally wrote it on his hat. The only sources I have are the ones where it has been repeatedly quoted in general conference.
I have been through the temple and am active in the Gospel and keep my covenants..but married a nonmember when I was inactive,so I have not been sealed to a husband,nor are my children sealed to me. I am going through a divorce,and doubt I will marry again.What happens to my children? I am faithful,but my children are not active,and one of my sons has passed away.I keep living with faith and trusting God,that I and my children will be blessed as I keep my covenants.But all the things I read seem to promise these blessings only if you are sealed to a spouse,which I am not.So what happens to me and my children? Are we going to fall through the cracks,and will I be denied my eternal family? I tell myself that certainly God is just,and I will receive all blessings I deserve because of my righteousness and keeping my covenants..but I can't find much doctrine about my situation.Any insights? Thanks
God is just, and he will not deny you blessings because of the actions of another. Hold to what you have already and cling to your covenants. President Dallain H. Oaks said, "The Lord has promised that in the eternities no blessing will be denied his sons and daughters who keep the commandments, are true to their covenants, and desire what is right." You and your family will not be denied blessings because of the agency of another.
I love this and it helps answer some questions...BUT...here I am the 'black cloud.' What happens to those children who never want to see or be with their parents or siblings ever again? I think I have forgiven them, but I don't ever want to be with them again. I am married, faithful, active and sealed in the temple. I 'had' 4 beautiful children; 1 adopted who opted out of our lives and the church. 1 child is a Celestial being and gives me additional purpose and incentive to be 'extra good' in this life, so I can be with this beautiful child. I have a strong bond with another child and hardly a bond with the last child, who because of who they married and many other factors, if I never saw again, I would cry but could get over it. Isn't this a mess ? How do I sort this one out ? Perhaps there is a simple answer--maybe not.
I think the most important thing to remember is that God's plan includes all these variables and when we do not know exactly how He will handle them, we must have trust that there is an answer and that it was one that we agreed with in the Council in Heaven.
My mom and dad divorced when I was 6 years young. Mom and aI were baptized when I was just over 10 years young. Mom told me that when she passed away, not to bother sealing she and my dad, she didn't want anyting to do with him. I felt like a hypocrite as my husband and I kneed at the alter in the Temple to do their sealing, until I felt them right beside me and they let me know they accepted the sealing. The witness couple's just returned missionary, told me that they were there and accepted the sealing. We don't know what happens, when we pass to the other side, marvelous blessings are in store, we see life and people differently.
@Jenny Svendsen, Thank you so much! I have been dealing with a similar situation.
My parents stayed together over 50 years but never married in the temple.
My dad was a difficult man and drove my older brother away. I’m going to the temple
soon, and have them all sealed, even though we were never that close.
I’m hoping and praying that I am doing the right thing. Your comment
gives me hope.
I’m a devout member of the church but wasn’t always. I was inactive when my husband and I got married. My husband is not a member and would not consent to having our children raised in the church when I decided to reactivate myself. Now 43 years later, we are still happily married and our children are grown. I took out my endowments 5 years ago and was going to the Temple weekly before COVID. My husband is supportive of my decision to be active in church but still wants nothing to do with it. As a result, my children were never baptized. What happens to us as a family in the hereafter with no sealing ever being performed?
My husband and I married 44 years ago and we’ve loved each other very much! At the time we married, I was inactive and didn’t care about a Temple marriage or anything else about the church. As a result, we were married civilly by the Bishop of the ward I grew up in. Unbeknownst to me until many years later, when my husband went to my dad to ask for my hand in marriage, my dad asked him that if I ever decided to come back to activation in the church, would he be supportive and let our children be baptized. At the time, my husband said yes. After our boys were born, he agreed to have them blessed but even at that time I wasn’t ready to come back to church. It wasn’t until our boys were preteens that I started attending church. It wasn’t easy because my husband was not being supportive as he had told my dad he would be. I was determined to stay active but it eventually chipped away at our marriage and I went inactive again. Many years went by and then after many tears and many prayers, I felt that it was time to go through the Temple. I went to my husband and he was supportive. That was 5 yrs ago and I attend the Temple weekly! My husband still has absolutely no desire to have anything to do with the church but I still pray for his heart to be softened! As a result of all this, my boys were never baptized. What will happen to our family in the next life? I’m sealed to my parents so will I be with them? And if so, what happens to my husband and boys?