I have lived in six states and attended 16 different wards or branches, in just the last 6 years! I love meeting new people. Because of this I often go out with the missionaries and visit the members. I have met many great members across the USA. And sadly, I know many who have gone less active, and it is because they forget this simple truth.
The Church is true, despite the members.
In most Christian churches, you only go because of the members. The Church is less of an institution and more of a social gathering. If you don’t like the members or the pastor you simply find a new church or stop going altogether. For most Christians, the members of their church are ‘The Church’.
In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints that is NOT the case. The restored Church of Christ is a framework of doctrine, priesthood ordinances, and covenants. The Lord Jesus Christ, Himself declared that the Church is “the only true and living church upon the face of the whole earth.” It is true because it’s foundations are not people but doctrines, principles, and Priesthood Authority, with Jesus Christ being the chief cornerstone. Each one of us can, and should, gain a testimony of the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon. And thereby gain a testimony of the prophetic call of Joseph Smith and of the reality of the Restored Church.
The problem comes when we equate the ‘church’ with the members of the church or the culture. Sure many people a part of the church, but that does not make them the church. If we mistakenly think that the true church will be full of true and perfect people we will quickly be disappointed. We will be even more disappointed if we assume every church leader is perfect.
On this topic Elder Jeffrey R. Holland an apostle of the Lord teaches. “Except in the case of His only perfect Begotten Son, imperfect people are all God has ever had to work with. That must be terribly frustrating to Him, but He deals with it. So should we.” (April 2013, Lord, I believe.)

Taking offense vs Keeping Covenants.
When we understand that the church is not the culture or just the people, but also a framework of doctrines, Priesthood ordinances, and covenants; we won’t let an offense outweigh a covenant. One of the saddest things I’ve ever witnessed is someone who forsakes their covenants because a leader or member was offensive.
I have witnessed leaders and members say and do horrific things. They’ve done them to me and my family. The actions of my Aunts Bishop put my dad in prison! But, I will not let the actions of man outweigh the covenants I have made with God. Or my mom for example, when she was investigating the church she received a witness it was true. Her first Sunday at church she found out that the Bishop’s daughter was the girl who was always bullying her at High School! Instead of letting that become a roadblock or a reason not to get baptized she held to the truth and was baptized. And I am eternally thankful for that!
The choice is simple, will I choose to be offended? Or will I choose to keep my covenants? It is one or the other. We can not stay offended at Priesthood leaders and keep our covenants.
On the topic of taking offense, I refer to Brigham Young, who taught. “He who takes offense when no offense is intended is a fool, and he who takes offense when offense is intended is a greater fool.”

Why would taking offense make you foolish? Because you either take offense or keep your covenants. I have never met someone who has chosen to be, and stayed, offended and not gone less active; either in their testimony or their activity. With that knowledge taking offense is always foolish!
Conclusion:
Try and let others try!
The purpose of the Church is to help convert us to the Gospel of Jesus Christ. And David O. McKay taught “The purpose of the gospel is to make bad men good and good men better.” Understanding that a Saint is only a sinner who keeps trying is key. As we try, we should let others try also!
“If we don’t try, we’re just latter-day sinners; if we don’t persevere, we’re latter-day quitters; and if we don’t allow others to try, we’re just latter-day hypocrites”
Dale G. Renlund (April 2015, Latter-day Saints Keep on Trying)

Because we are all sinners, the church will always be full of sinners! But let us keep trying so we can become saints! Truly the church is a hospital for sinners! And just like you don’t go to the hospital looking for healthy people, don’t expect everyone at church to be perfect. Let us reach out in love to those who are less active and bring them home!

PS. There are other reasons why people go less active, this is just the #1 reason. And typically this happens because the shame culture is corrupting Mormon culture and people feel judged. Click here for the article about the shame culture.
MaryAnne Butler Ashton
Tuesday 3rd of August 2021
I want to bare my testimony that I know that Jesus is the Christ, the Redeemer, the son of God the Father. I love Him with all my heart for the incredible sacrifice He made for me and all of you...he gave his life! He did not allow it to be taken...He willingly gave it up so we could return to our Heavenly Father and have a chance at Eternal Life. Jesus Christ is our literal brother, our spirit brother. He loves us unconditionally. This life is a testing ground, a proving ground, a place where we live by faith. We came from a place of light but are now in darkeness and have to reach for the light each and every day. We all get depressed sometimes. We all cry for family members who have strayed. But all we can do is love them unconditionally. Our Father above and His Son, our Savior, will do the rest. "Come unto me all ye heavily laden and I will give you rest," said our brother, our Savior. I know He means it! What is it that Elder Holland says? "Don't you quit! Don't you give up! You keep walking. You keep trying. There is help and happiness ahead...a lot of it! You keep your chin up. It will be all right in the end. Trust God and believe in good things to come."
Rebecca
Saturday 15th of February 2020
Mark Brown you are saying we don't have a choice of whether we get offended or not. I don't see how you can believe that. How can we not have a choice? We have a choice in our own attitude toward something and that is something we will always have. Have you read Viktor Frankl's "Man's Search For Meaning"? I highly suggest you and everyone read it. We do have a choice and we need to all act according to the dictates of our own conscience just as Mitt Romney did with Trump. Not everyone is going to agree but in the end that is what matters most and that is what we will be judged by in the end. It will be God's judgment not man's judgment. Let's not fear man, rather fear God but at the same time be kind. You do have a choice and that is a gift from God.
Joseph
Wednesday 12th of February 2020
Wait is anyone else not wanting to understand how a bishop sent a father to prison? Holy cow, I got stuck at that point... enjoyed the article and agree... even people in authority are just people who can make mistakes and will make mistakes. The church and its truths are not going to change.
Rebecca
Saturday 27th of July 2019
Wondering why you chose a church with a cross on top.
Stephanie Shelley
Tuesday 18th of June 2019
I really enjoyed reading those tonight I have been so depressed for such a long time and struggling in the church because of my depression and I have a lot of Health reasons going on right now to and reading those help me thank you