How To Stop Noisy Children From Ruining Your Sacrament Meeting!
How To Stop Noisy Children From
Ruining Your Sacrament Meeting!
We've all been in church when it happens...A two-year-old starts to cry! Don't they understand what they are doing? They are ruining Sacrament meeting for everyone! Whereas this is a dramatization, it illustrates what we sometimes think when a child starts making noise in church. I am a Young Single Adult or YSA. Because of this, I have mainly been in YSA wards over the past few years. Something that always strikes me, is the utter silence in a YSA ward. We don't have crying children, to some this would be perfect! But I wish we had crying babies, why? Because I've learned how to stop noisy children from ruining sacrament meeting, instead they make it. Here are three ways I have learned to stop children from ruining a sacrament meeting.
But before we continue I'd like to invite you to like my facebook page.
1st. Stop letting other's children ruin your sacrament meeting.
When I'm getting ready for the sacrament and a little kid starts to cry and scream I used to get annoyed. But one of the YSA I home teach, Ryan, taught me something profound once. He served his mission in Japan. He told me on his mission crying children used to always ruin the spirit of Sacrament meeting for him, until one day when he heard a child crying and thought, "Christ cried during the atonement."
With that in his mind, every week as the sacrament started and a child would cry he thought of the agony that Christ suffered through, he thought of the atonement. The crying child was pointing him to Christ! When he told me this story it hit me with such force. I realized I could do better if I would just humble myself and let the children lead me to Christ.
"Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven."
Matthew 18:3
2nd. Stop letting others children ruin their parent's sacrament meeting.
My brother has two autistic boys, his wife had left the church a few years ago. He kept bringing his boys to church but keeping them both quite was not an easy task. He got so many comments about them that he literally stopped going to church because he felt he was ruining it for others.
This sadly this is not the only example I can share of this happening. Instead of judging parents whose child is crying or loud, let us love them, and their children. After all, I am pretty sure it is more acceptable in Christ's eyes to be a loud child than an offended adult.
Let us reach out in love and realize it is not the noise level that makes Sacrament sacred but the spiritual level. Shaming and judging might lower the noise level but it will certainly drive out the Spirit! So offer to help the struggling parent, for surely that is what Christ would do.
“Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God.” Mark 10:14.
3rd. Stop letting your children ruin your sacrament meeting.
Nothing is more stressful than the expectation to keep children quiet during church. From the looks as your kid cries to the whispers, going to church with loud children can become a nightmare. It is only exasperated when you are a single parent.
Often times, the single mothers in the ward are actually not single, their spouse either has a calling that takes them out of the pews, or they are less active. I can't tell you how many amazing Sisters I know who singlehandedly bring their entire families to church every Sunday. The Church is built on the backs of these faithful sisters.
Many of these sisters, like my brother, worry that loud or crying children will disturb others. So what? Sure if your child is having a total meltdown it might be best to take him into another room. But remember, the church is as much for you and your children as it is for others. So be respectful, but don't obsess and worry about your children making noise! Remember you are doing God's work, never let the comments of another discourage you.
Conclusion.
In the days of Jesus Christ, these ideas of keeping children out of sight out of mind also were present. But Christ quickly denounced this false doctrine. His actions are recorded in Luke 18:16-17 which reads.
"16 But Jesus called them unto him, and said, Suffer little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God.
17 Verily I say unto you, Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child shall in no wise enter therein."
So let us come with our children and invite our neighbors with their children. Loud or quite, crying or happy. Realize that we must have faith like a child to truly come unto Christ. As the Prophet, President Monson taught in April 2005.
"Strive always to retain that childlike faith which can move mountains and bring heaven closer to heart and home."
Thomas S. Monson
#2 asking to help with other people's kids only works for women. I have asked even families that i home teach. They think that I am inconvenienced or that it is creepy.
Great thoughts though.
I have had the same experience. Although 1 time my offer was accepted.
I heard of someone whose Bishop would comment when children were crying that it was just angels, singing out of tune.....
I agree with most of what you’re saying, but would like to add one more thought. It is also up to parents to teach their children about respect for others and what “reverence” means. If the child is upset or disruptively noisy, take them out. Do so kindly but consistently. Don’t take them out to play with toys or run around, unless they need to burn up energy. Depending on their age, explain to them why they’re not in the chapel and take the opportunity to engage them in chapel appropriate activities like reading, quiet books, drawing, coloring etc. The behavior they will be learning will teach them that it is a part of showing love for others.
...also excellent advice!...
I hope you're old Pam. If you ain't then you can listen to my eye balls rolling from afar. Do you not realise that parents do this and miss out on the sacrament t week after week. Do you not realise that quiet activities are already in place? And that taking them out makes them go on a riot. Maybe you had perfect kids or haven't had them at all.
I find persisting in the sacrament room and sitting down the front is better than sitting up the back ready to walk out. My kids knew they'd get their way every time but I don't have a bar of it now and if anyone thinks ill of my family for not getting up from my seat and waltzing out can go on thinking that while I try my very best to carry on and partake of the sacrament. Us mothers need that strength of His atonement too.
@Pam, I totally agree. Thank you for sharing!
@Gill, first, attacking Pam is not very Christ like either.
We are only asking to take the children out of the chapel if they become very disruptive. That is part of raising our children, teaching them correct principles from a young age.
Don't forget that parents have access to the microphones outside in the foyer so they will not miss on the talks...or if they have to go outside when sacrament is being passed, they too can take the sacrament in the foyer.
Nothing is missed.
It's just not fair to have everyone hear the loud screams of a baby the whole entire time without any consideration for those attending the meeting also.
All the best.
First let me say, I like everything you said..Second, today was one of those very rare times in our ward, when during the passing of the sacrament we had several outbursts by young children...it was very disrupting...you could see members turning to see who/what was going on!...I think most of our members feel empathy for parents of young children....most of us have 'been there'...and now thanks to your article, I will keep in mind that crying was an integral part of the atonement...let the children lead the way! Third, on occasion, I choose to sit in the foyer during Sacrament meeting. Typically there are no distractions and I find I rather enjoy the quiet solitude. The audiovisual the meeting is available and I am served the emblems...AND this aging body is seated on a soft, comfy sofa...not a choice for everyone and not every Sunday, but it is another alternative to a noisy, distracted meeting!
I agree that we need to be tolerant but we also need to teach our children to sit quietly. Pam is spot on with her comments. I would also like to point out that not everyone is able to tune out the noise. My husband suffered a severe concussion several years back in a car accident. His brain just can't process noise. If he is in a noisy room for too long he will pass out. He leaves after the sacrament. I also have 6 children and I know the realities. I also spent 20 years walking the halls with my small children so that they wouldn't disturb the others. If you let your kids make a fuss in sacrament meeting then they will make a fuss in sacrament meeting. They will do exactly as much as you let them do. Please don't just sit there while your child is being noisy, take them out. Please don't tune out your noisy children during sacrament meeting. * While my son was on his mission they finally got this perpetual investigator to come to church. He said that it was too noisy, that that wasn't worship, and he never went back. Lack of reverence (or even quiet) in our Sacrament Meetings is a real problem, unfortunately.
@Laura, thank you for sharing!
This is a good article - but woefully incomplete. There is an expectation that families teach even their small children - how to be reverent, and to do that at home. If the only time children and being asked \ told to be still and quiet is in sacrament meeting, those children will not have the opportunity to feel and experience the spirit of that meeting, or elsewhere in their lives.
So, while you are focusing on how we - those in the same room as the child - should act and react, that is not enough. Indeed, the parents must step up and teach these things in their homes. Pray with them read books with them, do quiet things together, and feed them sugary breakfast or other stimulating foods before going to church, etc. I'm sure this list can be much longer. There is also nothing wrong taking a child out of sacrament meeting and helping them realize, without hurting the child, that being reverent in sacrament meeting is the best place to be; no running in the halls, no food, no playing, etc. You hold then on your lap, facing you, against your chest, and that is where they stay until they agree to go back in and do their best to be reverent.
These things are part of what we take on when we become a parent. It is being a good member of the ward, being a good parent, and being responsible.
IMHO These things, that you left out of the article, are sorely lacking in the church today.
I agree that reverence -taught consistently- begins at home, but if children don't see reverence in adults, how can we expect them to learn?
I have been ward organist for decades in many wards. As I am playing prelude, I hear more adults than children come into the chapel to have their gab-fest. They think nothing of how their talking and laughter carry throughout the room or the bad influence it has on children, others who are trying to prepare their hearts to Partake of The Lord's Supper, or investigators. To my way of thinking, the chatter of adults prior to the start of Sacrament Meeting is FAR MORE disruptive than a little child.
One other thought. I have 9 children. We ALWAYS sat in the 1st or 2nd row for 2 reasons. The first was so I could sit with my family easier during the meeting, and the second was so my children didn't have the distractions of other children in front of them. Try it. You might be surprised how well it works!
Perhaps another perspective would be instructive. I suffer from hearing loss, war is loud. Therefore, I wear hearing aids which pick up the most prominent sound and amplify it. In our Sacrament meetings that usually isn’t the person at the podium, but the screaming child. Now, understand that I know that children will not just sit and be quiet, I am a long time Scouter so I understand that the very definition of kinetic energy is an 8 yr old in a blue uniform. What I do mind is the child screaming right behind me, where my hearing aid microphones are. I had one young miss scream so loud I tore my aids out and left for the foyer to recover.. I raised 4 sons, and know the quiet books and drawing work, where race cars and dinosaurs are noisy. Fighting over who gets to play on dads tablet or moms phone isn’t something that should be going on in our meetings. Teach your children what is and what isn’t and our meetings will be much improved for it. Remember when President Kimball told a mother from the General Conference pulpit to take her screaming child out? Don’t let it get to that point.
A very long time ago, a friend who was a member of a different faith, told me she never turned to see the unruly child during church services because it only embarrassed the parents. Turning did nothing to help either the child or the parent. I felt that she had a great point. Parents are doing their best. The rest of us can at least not add to their burden.
The speaker has spent a lot of time preparing a talk and it is disrespectful to them. I wear hearing aids and the effect from them is awful. Please be respectful to the Lord and teach your pre schoolers about the need for reverence and as far as babies are concerned take them out when they fuss.
As a mother of five I know this is difficult but this time Too shall pass .NOISY CHILDREN ARE LIKE GOOD INTENTIONS, THEY SHOULD BE CARRIED OUT.
Having been a father in this position number 2 should be number one. Our first thought should be what would the Saviour do?
It’s not just single sisters, but also those who have a partner in hospital or otherwise not present to help, that are in these positions.
Remember that the Saviour died for us all, but even more so, what happened in the garden as the Saviour suffered for us all to pay the price for our sins, that matters most.
As we prepare to partake of the sacrament we should read to our family the sacrament prayers to remind us of what we partake it for.
Related to helping children be reverent and take part in the service, I wrote an article for the Ensign: Teaching Children to Worship, Jan 2007.
My 81 year old husband has 57 years of severe bi-lateral tinnitus and hyperacusis from his time in Vietnam (1966-67). EVERY loud noise brings him to tears and it is painful. As an example, I cannot empty the dishwasher if he is in the room. Children screaming loudly in Sacrament Meeting with parents ignoring them and not being considerate of others who might have hearing issues literally hurts him. He does NOT wear his hearing aids to Church and we sit as close to the front as we can so he can perhaps hear the speaker, but inevitably a family of loud talking, screaming children wind up behind us. Perhaps it might be better if there was an area of the chapel for those of us who need a quieter surrounding? We have a friend with extreme anxiety and screaming children trigger a "flight" mode for him. We also have a family with an autistic child who experiences major trauma when children cry loudly near her. We taught our 5 children to be quiet around their daddy and to be reverent in Sacrament Meeting. I honestly don't understand parents today who sit and ignore a child who screams, cries, begs, yells, and misbehaves in Church - and doesn't take them out of the chapel. Take them out...take them to a quiet room with no distractions and insist that they be QUIET in that boring room before you take them back into the chapel! Surely they can be taught (as we taught our children) to be reverent for ONE HOUR a week!