3 Paradigm Shifts We Need To Have About Callings In The Church.
We've all had it happen. The phone rings and it is the secretary of either the Bishop or the Stake President is asking if they can meet with you. You know a calling is going to to be extended to serve in the church. We may hope for either a lowly station (my dream calling is in Nursery, Nap time, singing time, and snack time? YES PLEASE!) or we make hope or fear for a calling into leadership. At the end of the day, everyone in the church will have opportunities to serve. But the way we think about and approach callings in many wards needs to have a paradigm shift. Here are three paradigm shifts we need to have about callings in the church.
1st. Always Accept Callings.
Growing up I was under the impression this was just standard practice in the church to accept callings. After all, there have been dozens of talks from general authorities saying that Latter-day Saint's do not reject callings, but I have learned that many still do. In my sisters' ward it was so bad that the Bishop stood up and declared: "Brothers and Sisters, we have had 20 people turn down the call to serve in the nursery. If we do not have people to accept this calling, we will simply dissolve the nursery and send the kids to Sunday school with their parents."
No calling is beneath us, or over us. Every calling should be accepted as if it was extended by the Lord himself, after all, He has declared "whether by mine own voice or by the voice of my servants, it is the same." (D&C 1:38). It should also be recognized that we covenanted to serve the Lord and build up His kingdom when we were baptized and when the Bishop extends a call it is not asking "Do you want to do this." He is asking "Are you going to keep your covenants?" That being said, there is nothing wrong with letting your Bishop/Stake President know of information that might be helpful. IE Past callings/if you are feeling burned out. At a minimum, he will be able to sustain you better in your calling by knowing your concerns.
"No calling is beneath us. Every calling provides an opportunity to serve and to grow."
Dieter F. Uchtdorf
2nd. Realize There Are No 'Ladders' In The Church.
For many, especially missionaries, callings and leadership become a ladder to climb. They see callings like District Leader, Elders Quorum President or Relief Society President as promotions. And therefore they view being released from a leadership position as a demotion or a punishment. There are no ladders in the church. One does not climb a calling ladder up to being a Bishop, Stake President, or Apostle.
One should not covet or seek or aspire to callings, one should simply magnify our baptismal covenant to serve wherever the Lord wants or needs us to be. This includes serving missions in areas that are "less desirable." I loved the attitude of Elder Uchtdorf when he was released from the First Presidency, he was 100% ok with it. Because he understood it was not a ladder. It reminds me of when President Thomas S. Monson quoted a poem by Meade MacGuire in general conference on this topic:
“‘Father, where shall I work today?’
And my love flowed warm and free.
Then he pointed out a tiny spot
And said, ‘Tend that for me.’
I answered quickly, ‘Oh no, not that!
Why, no one would ever see,
No matter how well my work was done.
Not that little place for me.’
And the word he spoke, it was not stern;
He answered me tenderly:
‘Ah, little one, search that heart of thine;
Art thou working for them or for me?
‘Nazareth was a little place,
And so was Galilee.’”
I think President Gordon B. Hinckley put it perfectly when he said: "Your obligation is as serious in your sphere of responsibility as is my obligation in my sphere. No calling in this church is small or of little consequence."
3rd. Learn To Magnify Every Call.
Now that we have established that the Lord expects us to accept any calling we are given the question is, what do you do when you get a calling that honestly is underwhelming? Simple, magnify it! For the consequences of not magnifying are made clear by John Taylor when he said: If you do not magnify your calling, God will hold you responsible for those you might have saved, had you done your duty.”
One of my favorite stories I heard was on my mission where a sister was given the calling of being the sacrament bread coordinator. One might feel like this is a pathetic excuse for a calling and choose to become apathetic. But this dear sister did not. She approached it as if the Lord Himself had asked her to be in charge of the bread for the sacrament. She decided she would make homemade bread every weekend so that the sacrament bread would always be fresh. And she even experimented with recipes and found one that was amazing, she held this calling for years.
I have met greeters who got a name tag and welcomed everyone by name every Sunday. And I have met Home Teaching District Leaders who would visit every family the companionship under him did not visit each month. What can we learn from these examples? It does not matter what if our as the Bishop or greeter, as the sacrament bread coordinator or the relief society president, each of us can magnify our callings.
Fabulous! This has been on my mind recently as my sister's husband was recently called as a Bishop, she made some comments that hurt me. As I have reflected on why I was hurt, it became apparent that I was falling for these lies. I enjoyed reading what you have to say.
So many good points in this! We should be willing to serve, even if it mean she getting out of our comfort zone. That's part of how we grow! Thanks for your thoughts.
May I suggest that you might be overlooking a couple of things? I have never had to turn down a calling, but there are good reasons for doing so. Sometimes Church leaders are not aware of personal struggles that impede church service for a time. For instance, someone who is going through a severe depression may be hiding it and may not mentally or physically be able to serve in a calling for a time. Also, there have been occasions when I've been asked about calling possibilities--"feelers," you might say. I'm always uncomfortable with those, but sometimes I have had total schedule conflicts or other valid reasons and callings have gone to others.
I try my best to follow my ward and church leaders, but they are mortal men who do not know every situation. It's ok to tell them the truth about your circumstances if you have a concern about a calling. I think the most important point here is to consider what's in your heart. If you have a willing heart to serve when you're able, that's what matters. And there may be a certain time and season for some service.
My thoughts exactly, Kerry. Thank you for bringing up mental health struggles, this is a very valid point that the author hasn't addressed.
While I haven't myself turned down a calling, and agree that it's hard when many people won't accept a calling or avoid specific callings (like nursery as stated in the example) I feel like putting a blanket statement "always accept a calling that is extended" isn't helpful or encouraging to people, because it doesn't work 100% of the time, and it can be very shaming to those who have very valid reasons to not accept callings at a particular time.
One example from my own life is that several years ago my husband and I were living in a new city and ward for the summer while he had an internship. Just three weeks before the summer finished and we were preparing to move away to return to school the bishop approached me at church and set "I need to meet with you and your husband, we've got callings for you!" and I reminded him that we actually weren't staying in the ward long term because we had just been here for a summer internship and were leaving in three weeks (we had met at the beginning of the summer when we first moved in, but I suppose he forgot that part of our introduction?). His reply was "ok, then nevermind!" and then quickly waked away. While we would have gladly accepted callings just for the four months we were there had one been extended to us when we first arrived (as we had done before other summers in other locations we lived for internships), clearly in this instance the call wasn't "from the Lord" since the bishop wasn't even aware that were weren't moving in the ward permanently. So yes, I agree that there are people that turn down callings that probably could accept them, but I also think leaders can do a better job of knowing the life circumstances of individuals before extending callings that simply don't work.
I also think that if the Bishop and counselors (and other auxiliary leaders) are allowed and encouraged to pray over callings and people before extending calls to individuals, then shouldn't we encourage the same practice to the people being asked to serve instead of expecting immediate conformity and agreement when the call is made? I think if people we encouraged to take a few days to consider their own life circumstances, and prayerfully consider the call being made there would be much more willingness to serve, even in callings that one might have initially rejected because the person has been given time to think about it and not feel so on the spot.
I have seen too many circumstances when a person has accepted a call only to do nothing with it, or completely stop attending church and I would far rather someone say no outright, then to feel pressured to say yes 100% all the time and then fail to fulfill a calling, leaving others in the lurch who rely on that person's service (like teachers who don't show up on their week to teach, leaving presidencies scrambling last minute to fill that time).
And on the note of nursery callings specifically: one great practice I have heard of in another ward is that the bishop started limiting callings in nursery for 6 months to 1 year. When a person was being asked to serve in nursery they were told that this would only be for that specific time frame, and when the time was up they were asked if they would consider staying in longer, or if they were ready to serve elsewhere. People were much more willing to serve in nursery knowing if was for a specific time frame and that they wouldn't get forgotten about in nursery forever (which can be a challenging and isolating calling). Perhaps that might have more success rather than shaming the congregation for not serving and threatening to abolish nursery altogether.
Yes to all this. And with regard to praying about accepting a calling-- I had that happen to me, and my answer was "No-- do not accept this calling", which my bishop at the time refused to accept, telling me that he prayed about extending the calling, and his 'answer' superceded mine! I told him that I was not going to accept this call because it wasn't the right time for us. We were in the middle of an adoption proceeding (which he must have forgotten about) and did not know exactly when we would have our child, but we had been placed on hold by a birth mother who was due any day. Clearly Heavenly Father knew-- and just a couple of weeks later I had a newborn, that would have made fulfilling that particular calling impossible.
If we are going to tell people that they can pray about and receive revelation for personal matters, then our leaders have to accept that we might get a different answer than they do.
Did their visiting and home teachers know about the individual and family needs? If so, their Bishop would know their circumstances. Every opportunity to serve provides for our profit and learning. Denying one of this service whether great or small is not building his kingdom. Some cases require us to be obedient so the Lord can provide his Angel's time assist us in our time of need. I recall the unknown poet writings Footprints in the Sand. No matter what our limitations are the Lord will make up the difference. None of us are perfect and no one should expect perfection from others judgement. We all should be willing to lift where we stand in whatever capacity we have.
Thank you for the sensible critique. Me & my neighbor were just preparing to do some research on this. We got a grab a book from our local library but I think I learned more clear from this post. I am very glad to see such excellent information being shared freely out there.
Not every bishopric prays over, and seeks revelation for the callings they extend. This problem is bigger than just a few wards here and there.
Therefore, not every calling extended is extended by the Lord as you have stated.
Maybe the first item could be revised to suggest that no calling is beneath us, and we are more able than we know. To say we should accept every calling flies in the face of personal revelation and extenuating circumstance.
This was an excellent article! I have been serving in Primary teaching 6 year olds for the past 3 months or so. At first I felt it was a sacrifice because I love Relief Society so much, but I quickly came to love these precious (albeit rambunctious at times!) children of our Heavenly Father. We just found out that we will soon be released to serve in another way. I am so sad! I love these children and truly wish I could have served with them longer. I am one of those who believes you go where you are asked to serve. Each calling can lift and inspire us if we try to magnify it by listening to the Spirit! <3
I’m not Perfect but I was taught when I was Young that “He Who the Lord Calls He Qualifies”. I’ve Always Accepted Callings extended to me because of the faith that I was Called by God and I would receive his Help. I can’t say the Same for Members who I have spoken to. Some justify Why they Can’t Accept Whilst Others Reason that the Bishop did not Pray about it. No Matter the Reason I believe We need to have more Faith and Trust that no matter What, the Lords Will will prevail and that His Work Will Move with or without Us.
Having said that! Thank You for the Article.
Now i feel guilty i was recently released from YW a calling i had wanted for 30 years. I was only in for 1 1/2 years and thought i was doing a good job. The night they released me they extended me the calling to be a primary worker and weeblos leader. I was so tender hearted and upset . I accepted the primary worker with a heavy heart and turned down the weeblos calling it was just too much to take in that night. Funny thing is if they had just given me a week or two and then called me to weeblos they would of gotten me. I agree with this article completely, but I do wonder sometimes why they move people so quick. I understand inspiration but sometimes it still hurts. I was in the Library for 13 years straight as either a ward librarian, assistant ward librarian or stake librarian. I do not exaggerate the length of time it was 13 years. I teared up with every calling that i was not given because i felt i was forgotten.
I have been in my ward over 20 years and have never had a calling. When we moved in I had a serious lung disease and no immune system. They asked me to be in the nursery.. I tried to explain when I go to church on Sunday I'm usually have to go to ER by Tuesday. No one has ever asked me again.
It is very true these 3 paradigm shifts you published. I wonder why people are not accepting callings from a bishop , others accepted it but do not magnify the call. I was wondering why it is so? Is it because we have unpaid ministry? If you magnify your calling you are blessed a hundredfold without you knowing it. Those who has a bundleful of callings are blessed by the Lord to think others shrink from that responsibility. Remember the Lord is hastening His work for His second coming and we can not become spectators with hands crossed over. We should get involved in the hastening of His work no matter how small, simple work it may be let us all get involved.
My husband and I were called in to speak with the bishop. He told us that a ward member in a leadership rollinsistent that we be called to a very busy demanding position. Bishop was total aware of significant health and other issues would make it impossible for us to magnify the calling. but he was asking so he would be able to tell the person he had asked. An example of the bishop being bullied to call someone to a position when he knew the call was not from the Lord. As much as it broke our hearts and caused great anxiety we had to say sorry. Why would someone do that to the bishop or ward members?
We should not be turning away callings lightly, but sometimes it is necessary. I once was extended a calling while I was in college that I could not logistically fulfill. It would have required me to quit school, and possibly find another job.My bishop didn't see that as a problem as he believe college for women was completely unnecessary. I declined the calling, and was promptly sustained to it anyway. I felt bad for those who were counting on me to serve, but I knew where the Lord wanted me, and it wasn't where my bishop called me to be.
This is not what I have heard over the pulpit in Conference. I have taught my boys that have and will become leaders is to always extend a call with these words..."I have felt impressed to call you to serve as......but I don't know your life circumstances, so please pray about the call and report back to me if it feels like it is right for you." When I was a homeschooling mom of four little boys, I heard a talk at Conference about accepting callings. It was an answer to my prayers. It was to pray for confirmation about the call extended and it was ok to turn down a calling. It was a false tradition that was this guilt-ridden notion of never being able to turn down a calling. I have followed this advice and as my children have served, I have taught them to follow the Holy Ghost and answers to prayers to accept a calling.
I agree that we should be given time to pray about callings extended. My daughter was called to the nursery and she responded that she wanted to pray about it. The bishopric member then told her she didn’t have time to pray about it because they needed her right away. What a way to discourage her. She and I felt horrible, and I hope he has changed his approach to extending calls.
Sadly Bishops make mistakes too, everyone is entitled to a confirmation that the call is from the Lord.
I am going to have to agree to disagree that we should accept every calling. One needs information before inspiration. We are in a hardly functioning ward. It is full of, albeit wonderful people, not enough people to serve to effectively run a ward, and certainly not a large pool to choose from for any given calling. My husband is bishop and has been for 1.5 years. It is causing him so much stress and anxiety that he is ready to either stop going to church or move away. It has almost destroyed our marriage. He refuses to get help for his emotional struggles. It is just too much, and we both knew it would be, but he said yes anyway. There was no interview, it was just asked if I would support him in any calling and if he would accept. Being bishop is way complicated, especially on top working a super demanding full time job, an additional work travel schedule, and raising a family. I strongly believe in prayer, fasting, temple blessings and everything else, but none of that makes deeply seeded anxiety go away.
Are these really Paradigm shifts? Wouldn't that suggest a change from what we are currently doing? For the most part I think people are already doing these things.
I honestly do not feel that a calling as Primary President of an 83 year old women is aporopriate.
Nursery is a lowly station? :/ Nursery is much more than nap (which is not even a thing), singing, and snack, and anyone that thinks that really shouldn't be nursery leader, anyway.
I have served in many capacities (currently on the Stake High Council with various responsibilities) and whilst doing that I was the Ward Faith In God leader since 2012. I loved the children and they loved me. They warmly greet me and were very sad I was released this year. Some are now preparing to serve missions. I melt when I think of my cherished little angels. The best time of my life.
No calling is beneath you, but it is ok to say no if you don’t receive comdirmation from the spirit that it is what the Lord has asked. We are all entitled to that. You can tell the bishop that you need to pray about it before answering. Sometimes the answer is no. A calling out of desperation may not be something a person can do.
Whereas yes we have the right to receive a witness a call comes from the Lord, what if it does not? What if it is just your Priesthood leader who holds keys asking you to help him? Have covenanted to sustain Priesthood keys and to consecrate our very lives to building the kingdom? I fear that too many members forget that and think that they are too busy or life is too hard to follow their leaders, the pioneers would beg to differ.
I appreciate the good intentions behind your post, but can't help but feel it is more damaging than helpful.
Of course accepting callings is great--service is an integral part of being a disciple of Christ. That does not mean that a person has to accept every calling. There are often circumstances the person recommending and extending the calling do not understand. Mental health, physical health, family situations, work situations... I could go on. I believe the majority of people accept callings when they can, but that decision is between them and the Lord. Promoting a "you must accept" culture also perpetuates a shame culture for those who decline. People should serve because they want to, not out of fear of being judged if they do otherwise.
In addition, while I agree with the concept of "magnifying your calling," we need to be careful with how we talk about it. As Pres Uchtdorf has shared, we need to simplify--crocheting a centerpiece for a lesson isn't necessary. It's fine that the lady made homemade bread, but that's not necessary for magnifying your calling. She could have bought Wonder bread and done just fine. More does not equal magnifying. A church calling is not actually the most important aspect of our lives, and we shouldn't allow callings to throw off the balance and proper priorities in our lives. Some people may have time to make tons of extra home teaching visits a month, but another person could "magnify" the calling simply by trying to accurately report the numbers each month, rather than, in essence, also doing others' callings for them. In the end it's an individual matter, but we need to be careful that we don't make those things feel like the standard.
I respectfully disagree. We make many excuses for why we can not serve. How about we look to the role models who left sick and dying families to serve missions. Did they look for excuses of health, work, or mental health? Or did they sacrifice aka consecrate all to build the kingdom?
I have turned down a few callings. When I was a bishop, our ward was great about accepting callings, but I understood at times there are circumstances that would prevent a person from accepting a calling. I believe it is unfair to issue a blanket statement, "Never turn down a calling." But such action should be rare and a matter fo circumstance not preference. When I was young, I used to say "I'll accept an calling except...." Later, when I was called to the "except" callings, I had a great time serving and thoroughly enjoyed myself, much to my surprise.
Honestly, I do not agree, you may provide additional info to the Bishop and he may withdraw the calling, but my mother's health was declining massively and we all thought she did not have long left. My dad assumed she would die within a year. My mom was then called to be the primary president, she accepted the calling and while being set apart was blessed with health and recovery. She served faithfully and now enjoys the best health she has had in a decade.
My calling as primary president got me thru cancer treatments. It was working with the children and seeing their smiling faces each week that did it. I was sure that my Bishop would release me when he new I had cancer but he was a wise Bishop and knew what I needed.
When I was in a Primary Presidency, I got clear inspiration that a certain person was to be extended a call to serve in Primary. Later, the Bishop got back to us that he had withdrawn the calling. I was devastated. The inspiration had been so clear, or had it? I did a lot more praying and the Spirit let me know that the person had needed to talk to the Bishop and let him know what was going on. Sometimes, a calling may be the only thing that someone with problems goes into the Bishop's office for.
Letting the Bishop know what's going on in your life before you accept is okay. Then, you can both pray about it.
Dear Sister MW, I hope and pray that by now, you have both talked to your stake president and gotten the support you both need. I hope the new formats for the Aaronic Priesthood have lifted some of his burdens. Don't be afraid to ask for blessings to help you both have some peace. The Lord knows your circumstances and He loves you and your family. The Stake President is there to support you. Use him.
I understand the desire to move to get release, but do try the Stake President first.
You are in my prayers.
Thank you for the reminder. Several years ago I was serving in the Stake Primary Presidency. It was a calling that I loved. After a year and a half, I was released when the President's husband was called as Bishop. I was surprised and sincerely felt like I had so much more to offer, that I was not done yet. Needless to say, I was not placed in the new Presidency and was called as a Nursery worker in my home ward. It was a difficult transition. I was so used to being out and about all over the stake meeting new people and serving openly (where at the time I didn't realize) where people could "see" me. To go from that to Nursery was a shock to me system and for a while, sadly, I felt like it was a demotion. My pride got in the way.
Eventually, I decided to pick up my pride, humble myself, and get to work. I learned what worked with each of the children and I allowed the Lord to help me find my place in His vineyard. I served in that calling for a year and a half and when it was time to be released, I would find myself sneaking back into Nursery during Sunday School to be with these children that I had grown to love so much.
Five years and another round in Nursery again later, I found myself being asked to teach Pre-K at the local elementary school. I was allowed to seek alternative certification because that was not what my degree was in. I was hired, though, because I had "previous experience" in teaching Nursery.
When I was released in 2011, I had no idea that my nursery calling would be the key to the financial help that my family needed in the future. I had no idea of the love that I would still have for all my kiddos all these years later.
Now as I serve in the Nursery for the third time, I am so grateful for the Lord's foresight and lessons that have humbled me and taught me that He indeed knows best.