The real reason people leave the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has nothing to do with doctrine or history.

Everyone knows someone who has left the Church. Now, I am not talking about the member who is honest in heart, but who slips into inactivity. I have written about the many reasons members slip into inactively and how to help them come back (Click HERE for that article). Today I am talking about people leaving the Church with no intention of coming back. They cite a variety of reasons as to why they left the Church, from people who have offended them, to doctrines that they don’t like, to the more common one these days: they have taken umbrage at the shortcomings of prior leaders of the Church.

History, doctrine, or the actions of other members has nothing to do with why these people leave the Church. It is merely the scapegoat. Those who leave the Church and as a result become antagonistic leave for one reason: they are not honest in heart and lack integrity to the witness they have previously been given by the Holy Ghost. (For why they become antagonistic see this article).

It might seem harsh to put it so bluntly, but bearing down in pure testimony might be the only thing that will help members who have started on this pathway of apostasy and spiritual damnation to realize where their actions will take them. There is no doctrine, historical event, or action by another person that absolves us of our duty to be true to what we know. Elder Holland clearly taught this when he said, “The size of your faith or the degree of your knowledge is not the issue—it is the integrity you demonstrate toward the faith you do have and the truth you already know.”

The honest in heart vs the dishonest.

For the past three years, I have been doing videos on Facebook answering people’s questions, doubts, and concerns about Church history and doctrine (click here to see some of them). Hundreds of thousands of people have watched these videos on topics ranging from Polygamy, The Book of Abraham, to why the Church had $100B in savings. When people express their questions, doubts, or concerns and I address them, rather quickly those people can be filtered into two camps: The honest in heart and the dishonest in heart.

When the honest in heart get the answer they are seeking, they redouble their efforts to be valiant to the truth and knowledge they have been given. But the dishonest in heart will dismiss the answer and move to the next piece of anti that they have chosen to fixate on. The Dishonest in heart refuse to act on what they know and use the excuse of the unknown to justify their actions. I have seen dozens of people who do not even acknowledge the fact that their concern has been resolved, they simply move to the next talking point.

In the scriptures, we have Laman and Lemuel as an example of those who are dishonest in heart. They saw angels, witnessed miracles, the father was the prophet! And they even heard the voice of the Lord! But at the end of the day, because they were dishonest in heart, and it was not enough for them, and they rejected the truth, and lashed out at Nephi for teaching it. Today the dishonest in heart follow their example in rejecting the truth, and attacking those who would teach it.

Beyond not being willing to accept answers to their questions from others, the dishonest in heart are unwilling to accept and act on the witnesses of the Holy Ghost they have been given. They claim they have so many unanswered questions that they are not getting answers to. If they pray, they pray without the intent to obey. This is a vital lesson that too many struggling with a testimony do not understand. Moroni did not promise that the wishy-washy would gain a testimony of the Book of Mormon, his promise included a clause:

3 Behold, I would exhort you that when ye shall read these things, if it be wisdom in God that ye should read them, that ye would remember how merciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men, from the creation of Adam even down until the time that ye shall receive these things, and ponder it in your hearts.
4 And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.
5 And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things.

Moroni 10:3-5

A sincere heart and real intent is praying with the intent to obey. Not only to obey if you gain a witness of a doctrine you struggle with, but also obey and be faithful to all prior truth you have been given even if the witness you are seeking is withheld till after the trial of their existing faith. Neil L. Andersen taught this concept, “You don’t know everything, but you know enough—enough to keep the commandments and to do what is right.”

Now, don’t mistake this for the philosophy of fake it till you make it. That is a philosophy I flatly reject, and so does Elder Holland, “Let me be clear on this point: I am not asking you to pretend to faith you do not have. I am asking you to be true to the faith you do have. Sometimes we act as if an honest declaration of doubt is a higher manifestation of moral courage than is an honest declaration of faith. It is not!”

Walking by Faith.

I am going to be real, open, and honest. Growing up I struggled to gain a testimony of almost any aspect of the gospel. The only aspect of the church I had a testimony of was that the Priesthood was real. I knew this because a Priesthood blessing saved my dad’s life when I was seven years old. I prayed, begging God for a testimony. I read the Book of Mormon cover to cover, I fasted, and prayed more. Still nothing.

I started to question if it was real, but I made the decision that I would go to Church, live what I was always was taught to do, and honor the Priesthood, but that I could not go on a mission without a testimony of the restoration. My parents tried to help, still, I did not gain a witness. My seminary teachers, one after the other, tried to help and still, I did not get an answer. Young Men’s leaders, and still I had nothing. Mission age was approaching and I knew I could not serve without a testimony.

I don’t recall all the details of the night, but I remember it was a Stake Priesthood meeting. One of the speakers shared the story of gaining a testimony from the Spirit that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God when he was younger when he heard the song “Praise to the Man.” I remember thinking, “Oh how I wish I could have that.” At the end of the meeting, it was announced that the closing song would be Praise to the Man. As we sang “Praise to the man who communed with Jehovah! Jesus anointed that Prophet and Seer.” For the first time I can recall, I felt the Spirit. I knew that Joseph Smith was a Prophet of God. With that knowledge, I made a commitment that I would serve a mission and never betray the testimony I had been given.

Why do I share this story? Simple. All of us at one point or another will have to learn to walk by faith. After gaining a testimony, did I have other doubts or questions? OF COURSE I DID! When I was a missionary, I ran into a lot of Anti-Mormons. One Jehovahs Witness lady told me that the Church was not true because Jospeph Smith used seer stones to translate the Book of Mormon. I flatly told her she was wrong and when I got home I told the Sr. Missionaries about her ridiculous claims. They got quiet and told me that she was right about the seer stones. I had a mini faith crisis. WHAT??? How could he have used seer stones? Nobody in Sunday School or Seminary taught me that! When the impression came, ‘this does not change what you know.’ I had a choice, would I let something I did not understand trump my faith, or would I be true to the witness I had been given? I choose to focus on what I knew rather than what I did not know. In the words of Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “My dear brothers and sisters—my dear friends—please, first doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith. We must never allow doubt to hold us prisoner and keep us from the divine love, peace, and gifts that come through faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.”

Lean on the testimony of others if needed.

An analogy I like to use is that we are hiking a mountain with Jesus Christ. We know we need to get to the top. Our doubts or questions are like rocks that we pick up along the way that we start carrying on our journey up. Eventually, if we fixate on them, their weight will be crushing and we will stop walking and give up. Or we can hand them over to Christ and focus on what we know. If we keep walking, pressing forward when it is hard, soon we will find answers to our questions and doubts, soon we will find those rocks no longer matter. Some questions will be answered here on earth, some we won’t fully understand until the next life. But answers will come if we keep moving forward.

If you are weary in your journey up the mountainside, I want to echo the words of Elder Holland and make them my own, “What was once a tiny seed of belief for me has grown into the tree of life, so if your faith is a little tested in this or any season, I invite you to lean on mine. I know this work is God’s very truth, and I know that only at our peril would we allow doubt or devils to sway us from its path. Hope on. Journey on. Honestly acknowledge your questions and your concerns, but first and forever fan the flame of your faith.”