Why to Homeschool/Public School/Private School are Answers to the Wrong Question!

The debate between homeschool vs public school vs private school has raged for decades. In recent years with remote learning, more parents were being exposed to what their kids were learning in schools. Curriculum influenced by critical race theory (CRT) and social-emotional learning (SEL) has shocked parents with how progressive it is. The explicit details and heavy bias towards the LGBTQ+ agenda that has not only permeated the sexual education courses, but every aspect of the curriculum. Despite all this, many of the Saints in Utah had maintained the idea that whereas the public schools might be bad elsewhere, in Utah they were still good and safe.

I say ‘had maintained the idea’ because everything changed in August when a teacher in Lehi Utah went viral after a student recorded her ranting and threatening her students, part of her rant reads (and I quote): “Most of y’all parents are dumber than you. I’m gonna say that out loud. My parents are freaking dumb. And the minute I figured that out, the world opens up. You don’t have to do everything your parents say and you don’t have to believe everything your parents believe because most likely you’re smarter than them. You can believe what you wanna believe but keep it quiet in here cause I’m probably gonna make fun of ya..”

This viral video amassed over a million views from all around the world. The Daily Mail, a British Paper, even wrote an article about it! The fact that this could happen in the heart of Utah really shook many parents. I saw friends on Facebook encouraging people to pull their kids from public school and put them in private school, or to homeschool them. Since this video, more and more parents in Utah are finding out that the curriculum is being saturated by CRT and SEL. On just earlier this month on October 6th, 2021, Canyons School District had to suspend one of its programs due to the graphic sexual content and “elements of critical race theory and a push for social activism that may run counter to ‘familial or religious beliefs.'” (See KUTV’s article).

Within that context, I can get to the topic at hand. Why to Homeschool/Public school/Private school are answers to the wrong question! In the middle of the aftermath of this viral video, I attended a lecture at Education Week on religious freedom by Steven T. Collis. Brother Collis is a lawyer by profession and was speaking about balancing religious freedom and LGBT rights. His presentation was amazing, but it was a comment at the end of the lecture during a Q&A that I want to talk about:

During the Q&A one lady asked him how they can protect their kids from the LGBTQA+ agenda in public schools. He replied that schools are required to give the option to opt-out of classes about sex education. The questioner protested, “But what do I do when the agenda is interwoven throughout the curriculum?” To this, Brother Collis said, “Are going to prepare the road for your child or your child for the road?”

Preparing the road for the child.

Ever since Brother Collis’ lecture, my mind has been pondering this concept. What exactly does this mean to prepare the road for your child? And what examples are there of doing it? And is it dangerous? One example that stands out is the many members who encourage their children not to play with non-member kids out of a fear that it will cause them to fall away from the Church, when in reality it might just provide the missionary opportunity that they need to gain a testimony!

An example from the topic at hand would be parents who pull their kids from public schools and put them in private because the public schools are bad. Whereas that is not necessarily a bad thing, if you are simply changing who you are entrusting your kids to, then you are still just trying to prepare the road for your kids.

Another example would be parents who homeschool pressuring their kids to go to BYU because they believe that BYU is a safe place for their children. These children are often unprepared for the road of college life and the real world. They’ve been sheltered and never faced a figure in authority teaching something that is false. They don’t know how to stand up against professors who are practicing priestcraft. My wife would come home from her classes at BYU and share stories of professors saying insane things that went against Church doctrine or taught things that are counter to the family proclamation, I would ask, “Did anyone say anything????” Sadly, most of the time the answer was no.

Preparing the child for the road.

Preparing a child for the road is the exact opposite mindset compared to preparing the road for the child. Rather than smoothing out and removing obstacles, you are preparing your children to overcome obstacles. You are preparing them to stand up for what they believe, to share the gospel, and to follow the Spirit. Now, just because you’ve prepared your child for the road does NOT mean that you put them on intentionally bad roads. No one would take a 4-year-old to an opium den to learn their ABCs.

When I think of my friends who have fallen away from the Church some went to public school, some to private school, and others did homeschool. And when I think of my friends who are stalwarts in the Church, once again some went to public school, some to private school, and others did homeschool. What was the difference? Regardless of where they went to school, those who are still active in the gospel were prepared for the road by their parents. Their parents ensured their home was a school no matter where the kids went.

No matter who is teaching your children, the parents take chief responsibility for ensuring that the gospel permeates every aspect of their learning. Both President Ezra Taft Benson taught this when he declared, “First lay the groundwork of gospel truth in every subject, and then, if necessary, show where the world may fall short of that standard.” And President Thomas S. Monson, when he taught: “Since we cannot control the classroom, we can at least prepare the pupil. You ask: ‘How?’ I answer: ‘Provide a guide to the glory of the celestial kingdom of God; even a barometer to distinguish between the truths of God and the theories of men.'” (Conference Report April 1970 page 98)

Follow the Father.

There is no greater example of the lure of preparing the road for the child than Lucifer’s plan. In heaven, after Jesus Christ presented Heavily Father’s Plan of Salvation and explained that it would be a hard road and that some might not choose Christ and return home, Lucifer offered an alternative plan. Lucifer’s plan would smooth the road. He would ensure all of Heavenly Father’s children make it home! But, Heavenly Father knew something that many of us forget, preparing the road for your children ‘sounds good’ but it actually does not work. We are here on earth to learn and grow and smoothed roads don’t allow us to grow. Heavenly Father has crafted a plan that does prepare the road in degrees, but more importantly, it prepares us for the road. He has given us families, and wards, and friends to support and sustain us along the road.

Ours, as parents in Zion, is the task of striking the same balance. To what degree will you prepare the road for your child? Where will they go to school? Should you homeschool? These are questions that require personal revelation. There is no one size fits all answer. This is why the Church does not endorse one type of schooling over another. But it does repeatedly teach that we must prepare our children for the road! Situations like my wife’s at BYU should not happen! If more children were prepared for the road it would not happen!

How do you actually prepare your children for the road?

If your children are going to be taught at a public or private school, become as involved as you can be! PTA meetings, school board meetings, review the curriculum, etc. Ezra Taft Benson taught, “It is important that you stay close to your children, daily review, if possible, what they have learned in school, and go over their textbooks…I know one noble father who reviews with his children regularly what they have been taught; and if they have been taught any falsehoods, then the children and the father together research out the truth.” (Conference Report, October 1970 page 22-23)

If you live in a place where you are unable to choose where/how your children are taught, do not despair! The Ensign shared this amazing insight where President Kimball related meeting Church members behind the Iron Curtain after World War II. In view of atheistic teachings in the schools, President Kimball asked parents how they trained their children. “Every day we take out what the teachers put in. Teachers feed them lies; nightly we teach them the truth. And our children are growing up faithful,” was the answer (Ensign, May 1977). No matter where we live, we can at minimum follow the example of the Saints in the Soviet Union in correcting false teachings in schools.

We must teach our children not just to passively disagree when false doctrine is taught, but to courageously, and respectfully, stand up for the gospel and defend/testify of the truth. Regardless of what happens to their GPA. After all, is that not what we covenanted to do at baptism? To “stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in” (Mosiah 18:9). That sounds pretty all-inclusive, right? If we teach our children true doctrine, and how to rely upon and feel the Spirit, then they will be prepared. But we have to teach them by precept and example!

In the October 2021 General Conference, Elder Neil L. Andersen shared a story of one 10-year-old girl who had the courage to keep her baptismal covenants and stand up to repeated pressure by her teacher, the result? Her teacher’s heart was touched and she was baptized! Can you imagine the outcome at BYU if every student had the courage of this 10-year-old? When a professor would try to teach something false, like the Family Proclamation was outdated (which has happened), instead of students quietly disagreeing, students who were committed to keeping their baptismal covenants would stand up and testified that they KNEW the family is ordained of God. Imagine all the other students who are struggling having that moment to be touched by the Spirit while pure testimony is borne.

Elder Neal A. Maxwell taught an interesting truth on this topic: “There will also be times, happily, when a minor defeat seems probable, but others will step forward, having been rallied to rightness by what we do. We will know the joy, on occasion, of having awakened a slumbering majority of the decent people of all races and creeds which was, till then, unconscious of itself.”

There is no one checking schooling credentials before you can enter into the celestial kingdom! But there will be questions about how we kept our baptismal covenants. And for parents, there will be follow-up regarding the discharge of the duty that we have in teaching our kids. The ultimate responsibility to ensure your children are taught the truth cannot be outsourced.

PS: It is important to understand that even God, who perfectly prepared His children for the road had some children who have and will fall off the path. Do not judge the parenting of others or yourself by how children use their agency! We teach correct doctrines and must let them choose for themselves. And we pray our hearts out that they will choose the right along the way.

PPS: If you are struggling for resources/aids for how to teach your children and prepare them for the road seriously pick up any edition of the Ensign or Liahona magazine! You can’t read an edition without finding at least 2-3 articles about how to teach your children. Just tonight after writing this I ran across this article and had the thought, “Oh I need to add a link to this!” Here it is: “Forewarning Your Children: Arming Them Against Temptation Ensign, July 1979″