Last Elders Quorum meeting we discussed Ministering. Someone asked, “How do we even minister?” In the conversation that ensued, my ministering brother commented about how I asked to come give a blessing, and how that was a big deal to him. It got me thinking: What are some ways we can make ourselves easy to minister to? Ways we can help our ministering brothers and sisters fulfill their ministering duties? So, here are 7 ways you can help your ministering brothers/sisters minister to you/your family.
1st. Text your ministering brothers/sisters and introduce yourself.
Unless you are an outgoing/extroverted person, ministering can be terrifying. Especially when you see a name you don’t recognize. Many people are paralyzed by fear when it comes to situations like this; what makes it worse is when we then put off introducing ourselves and now we feel like we need to apologize, or simply wait for a new assignment so as not to be like “So, I have been your ministering brother for 10 months, I have not even talked with you….”
Simply looking up your ministering brother/sister and texting them to introduce yourself breaks the ice and removes the anxiety of getting to know someone new. And removes the shame of someone who has been neglectful. It does not take much, but it might be all that is needed to start the ball rolling. “Hey Brother X, this is Brother Goff, I noticed you’ve been assigned to be my ministering brother. I figured I would introduce myself.” They then are empowered and encouraged to start a dialog with you.
2nd. Ask your Ministering Brothers for help giving blessings.
When I first got married and moved into a family ward, I knew only one person in the ward, Brother Parker. I relied on him whenever I needed help giving a blessing. He was dependable and it was great. One day when I needed help giving a blessing I asked him, and he replied, “I am more than willing, but have you asked your ministering brother yet?” At first, I was annoyed, I did not even know who my ministering brother was! But then I realized the wisdom in his question. I looked up my ministering brother and texted him asking him to help me give a blessing.
I have made reaching out to my ministering brother first when I need help giving a blessing a habit. And I have thought nothing of it really until this last Sunday when I learned how much it means to ministering brothers to have an easy way to minister! So, when you need a blessing, or help giving a blessing, rather than reaching out to your defaults of friends or family, look up your ministering brother and ask them for help.
3rd. Share some goals you have set and ask for them to follow up with you!
Everyone has goals. Most people on New Year’s set a few goals, and by mid-February, they’ve already given up on them. One of the biggest mistakes we make when setting goals is having no accountability. Thomas S. Monson that “When performance is measured, performance improves. When performance is measured and reported, the rate of improvement accelerates.”
This is one area your Ministering Brother/Sister can help you with! You can share your goals with them and ask them to be your accountability buddy. Explain your goal, and how they can follow up with you on it. For example, “Hey, I want to do Come, Follow Me this year, can you follow up via text on Sunday Morning asking how it went that week?” Or “Hey I want to get healthier, can I text you my weigh-in every Monday for accountability?”
4th. Invite your ministering brothers/sisters to visit your home.
For whatever reason when ministering rolled out people got the idea that we don’t do home visits anymore. This is simply not accurate, nor is it doctrinal. Whereas we do not report on the home visits we make, if we refer to the Church Handbook 21.1 “Responsibilities of Ministering Sisters and Brothers” it refers you to read Doctrine and Covenants 20:47 where the Lord outlines the Priesthood duty to “visit the house of each member, and exhort them to pray vocally and in secret and attend to all family duties.”
So invite your ministering brothers/sisters to your house to share a message. As for the topic, let them know what you would like. Favorite conference talk, Liahona article, insights about that week’s Come, Follow Me. The options are endless but make it clear, “We would love you to come share a message with our family.” Each of us needs home visits.
Growing up my Stake President was my home teacher. I still remember him visiting our house and asking us, “Are you holding your personal prayers? Family Prayers? How is temple attendance? What about scripture study, are you holding family scripture study? What about personal studies?” above and beyond those questions he would inquire about our lives, upcoming activities and birthdays. His home visits set the stage for his ministering throughout the month.
5th. Occasionally ask for help babysitting your kids.
This suggestion is a bit more niche as it requires you to know and trust your ministering brothers/sisters, but if you do, one way to help them minister to you is to ask them to watch your kids so that you can go to the temple, or have a date night. They are not your free babysitters, but the occasional babysitting enables a couple to recharge either spiritually at the temple or emotionally on a date.
6th. Invite them over for dinner.
Food always brings down barriers. One of the most effective ways to get to know someone is to share a meal with them. One of my family’s current ministering brothers invited us to his house for dinner. Before this, I had maybe said 5-10 words to him. Over some delicious food, we talked and talked, and talked. By the end of dinner and our conversation, I felt like I knew him enough that if I needed something I could ask for help. Whereas this was my ministering brother using dinner to invite us to his house, the same applies in reverse, you can start/strengthen a relationship over a shared meal! So invite your ministering brothers/sisters over for dinner (I would recommend one at a time).
7th. Ask them to help prepare you/your children for the next ordinance/blessing along the covenant path.
Whereas parents have the duty to lead out in teaching their children the gospel, your ministering brothers/sisters can be an amazing support. From Baptism to Priesthood ordinations, to temple prep, and even Patricharal Blessings. As you/your children work towards receiving these blessings inviting your ministers to help in the preparation is a perfect way for them to minister to you/your family. All you need to do is simply ask them to come to your house and share a message on the given topic to help.
Therefore what?
Something my mission president drilled into me was the concept of “Therefore what?” IE, What are you going to do because of this? I recommend picking 2 to 3 of these ideas and using them to reach out and help your ministering brothers/sisters minister to you. Another thing you can do is offer to do these things to those you home teach, as often people don’t even know what they want their ministering brothers/sisters to do, use these ideas as a starting point.
Do you have any other ideas? Leave them in the comments!
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Cayls
Friday 26th of January 2024
Too often I have resisted asking my ministers for help because I don't know them or feel uncertain about their actual willingness to do more than drop off treats or ask how I am doing. So I appreciate the push to befriend them. As I have ministered to others, I have found that it's important to personalize the service. Some people don't want to meet at home, others do. Some love texts and others don't. Asking upfront and paying attention goes a long way. To flip that, I can be upfront about my preferences so they don't have to guess.