3 Ways Our Culture Can Keep Us From Experiencing the Joy of Living the Gospel

In the gospel, we are taught that ”men are that they might have joy” 2 Nephi 2:25. Joy is something that we believe we are actually meant to experience. Both in this life and in the next. Yet for so many members of the church, joy seems to be a rather elusive concept. It is almost as if something is stopping us from experiencing it. Now when I talk about joy, I am not talking about having a super bubbly personality, I am talking about the peace and happiness that come from God that soothes the soul and buoys us up through trials and helps us every day. The amazing thing is that this joy is a natural byproduct of living the gospel. Elder Anthony D. Perkins taught us in my stake conference: “If you are not happy living the Gospel, you are not doing it right”

So we know if the gospel is lived correctly, we will have joy. Why are we not? The culture. When we mistakenly apply culture instead of the gospel doctrine, we will quickly find the potential for joy in our lives being sucked away. Now, when I say culture I need to explain; the culture is the way we live our lives, it is what is socially acceptable, but it is NOT doctrine. It may stem from doctrinal beliefs and it may sometimes be a good thing. It shapes our values and our lives. That being said, this can also be problematic because there are times when we hold to culture rather than the doctrine of the gospel. When we do this we find ourselves exhausted, burnt out, and feeling hollow. Here are 3 ways our culture is sucking the joy out of us and what we can do to bring the joy back into living the gospel.

1st. Checklists

One need look no further than the recent changes from Home and Visiting Teaching to Ministering to realize that in our culture we tend to wrongly over-emphasize checklists. As a matter of fact, when I started writing my blog I was told by other bloggers “Mormon’s love lists, always make articles into lists.” This stems from the fact that we like to see where we stand. True discipleship is so hard to measure, and therefore we can feel like we are not doing it. But lists, are different, we can check them off and feel like we are progressing!

The problem is that checklists are a Law of Moses type of discipleship. Yes, it will get you started, but it won’t get you to where you want to go. It is necessary to learn the spirit of the law rather than just the letter of the law. It is when you go out of your way to do what Jesus would do, even if you are not assigned to do it; especially when you are not assigned to do it! Pure and simple, true discipleship is not a checkbox, you can’t say “I’ve gone on a mission” so I’ve done missionary work. Or “I go to church, say my prayers, and read my scriptures, therefore I am a good disciple.” Checklists get us focused so much on the “what” that we often lose sight of the “why.” People become names on paper rather than the souls of our brothers and sisters.

Checklists get us going through the motions and counting things that don’t really matter. As David A. Bednar taught, “The gospel is so much more than a routine checklist of discrete tasks to be performed; rather, it is a magnificent tapestry of truth ‘fitly framed’ and woven together, designed to help us become like our Heavenly Father” (GC: Oct. 2017)

2nd. Comparisons.

Our society thrives off comparisons. Who is taller? Faster? Smarter? Who is the best!? We hold huge sporting events and pay athletes millions of dollars to prove which team is best. That is how the world operates. The gospel does not live on comparisons at all. Comparing people is never a good thing. It always comes from a place of judgment and unrighteous pride. Whether we are winning or losing the comparison battle in our minds, it is never Christlike towards others or ourselves. God will never compare the good you did with that of another. He will never say “Did you have more baptisms than so and so?” He is not concerned with the stats of who is the best at XY or Z. He cares that all of His children make it home.

This earth life is about learning that we are all on the same team. It is learning that just because Brother Johnson can afford a new car does not make you less of a provider, or that because Sister Maxwell makes the best homemade apple pie does not make you less of a homemaker. Life is actually is about learning to work together, to love and support each other through our tests and trials. It is about learning to overcome Satan! We are not in a race against each other but rather against Satan. Because Satan knows how badly he would lose if we realize we are all on the same team, he seeks to have us compare ourselves with other people and put that wedge of judgment between us so that the race becomes us versus them rather than us versus him. Don’t buy into his lies, we are all on the same team. Resist the urge to compare and then you will find the joy of brotherhood and sisterhood! As Joy D. Jones cautioned: “Comparison is the thief of joy.” (GC: Oct. 2017)

3rd. Cultural Commandments.

God gives us commandments to bring us joy and protect us. In the New Testament, the Pharisees built a hedge or fence around the commandments to prevent people from potentially breaking them. Our modern culture has done the same thing by building hedges around the commandments, ( for instance, growing a beard, drinking caffeine, etc, etc.). These cultural “commandments” are so exhausting and overwhelming that no one feels joy as we try to live them.

The commandments are there to help us become like God; they are livable. Even when God says “be perfect” when one understands that the Greek form of perfect is complete, it is attainable. We can become “complete” when were accept Christ in our lives so that he can make up for anything we are lacking. Through Him, we can become complete. But the culture says we have to be perfect now, by ourselves, without help from Christ! And that we must fake it till we make it. But more than adding to the commandments, these hedges of cultural commandments often prevent us from being true disciples.

Take, for example, how we pick our friends. Jesus was a friend of sinners. If He was here with us today, He would be with the same people he was with 2000 years ago. Namely, publicans, sinners, harlots! Yes, he had a nucleus of faithful friends who also followed him, but He always befriended the sinner in need. He commands us to do the same. Yet how many of us listen to the culture rather than the master? We act like the Pharisees– too afraid that someone’s sin might rub off on us or our children–that we won’t associate with those whom Christ has commanded us to minister to and rescue. Yes, we need good role models to help us live the gospel; but we also need to be friends with everyone. This is just one example of how a cultural commandment prevents us from experiencing the joy that comes from following Christ’s example and being true friends to others as Christ is to us. “Having been so richly blessed by Christ’s friendship, I pray that we will now be to others what He is to us: a true friend. At no time will we be more Christlike than when we are a friend.” Marlin K. Jensen (GC: Apr. 1999)

So how do we find joy?

Simple, joy comes in our pursuit of discipleship. True discipleship comes when we ask ourselves, what would Jesus do? And then we act on the answer. Unlike the temporary thrill of checking off a checkbox, discipleship brings lasting joy. It brings joy because it brings the Spirit more fully into our lives, and one of the fruits of the Spirit is joy (Galatians 5:22).

The Spirit will lead us to resist the urge to judge others, and it will help us to keep the actual commandments. It will lead us to serve and love others. When we do these things we find out that we are truly living the Gospel; we are actually being disciples! And we will find ourselves finding joy in the journey. So ask yourself, “Is that culture or is that doctrine?” Because if we leave the doctrine behind and emphasize living the ever-changing, never achievable “culture”, we are sure to run ourselves ragged and always make ourselves miserable. But if we anchor ourselves in the gospel doctrine, we will find the joy that is eluding so many of us. As Dallin H. Oaks explained in the Oct. 1991 General Conference, “Joy is more than happiness. Joy is the ultimate sensation of well-being. It comes from being complete and in harmony with our Creator and his eternal laws.”

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