3 Ways Latter-day Saints Are Judging Others Without Realizing it.

3 Ways Latter-day Saints Are Judging Others Without Realizing it.

When I talk with my non-member or less active friends and ask them how they feel about the Church I often get the same reply, “I feel judged.”  But most of the members I know are not judgmental people. So I had to dig a bit deeper to figure out what we were doing that caused people to feel judged. I realized there are at least 3 ways we are judging others without realizing it.

1st. We Label People.

Everyone in our world is divided into groups, Democrats or Republicans, BYU fans or Utah fans, Members or Non-members. Active vs less actives.  If we see people as they truly are than it is hard to hate them. But when we group them together it is easy to question motives and even vilify them. I saw this last election, people began to hate friends because they were voting for the other person, they saw them as a group and inferred the most nefarious of motives, when in reality most people are genuinely good.

We see this in the dialog between King Lamoni and his father in Alma chapter 20.

In chapter 20 we pick up the story of Ammon and King Lamoni. They are traveling to rescue Ammon’s brothers when the stumble upon King Lamoni’s father. When the King finds Ammon and King Lamoni he is very angry. He labels and attacks Ammon as a Nephite and said to his son: “Whither art thou going with this Nephite, who is one of the children of a liar” (v10). The rebuttal from King Lamoni was that Ammon and his brothers were “just men and holy prophets of the true God.” (v15). But his father was is a rage, and attempted to murder Lamoni and then Ammon, who was able to withstand his blows and even incapacitated him (v20). At which point the king begged for his life.

Ammon spares his life if he is willing to not be angry with Lamoni.  And in verse 26 it says “And when he saw that Ammon had no desire to destroy him, and when he also saw the great love he had for his son Lamoni, he was astonished exceedingly.” His labeling had been incorrect, Ammon was not evil. King Lamoni’s father had a change of heart led to his conversion and the eventual conversion of thousands of his people.

When we look at people and see them as our brothers and sisters instead of opposing groups civility, respect, and brotherly love will be re-enthroned in our communities and world.

“We cannot truly love God if we do not love our fellow travelers on this mortal journey.”
Thomas S. Monson

2nd. We Identify Ourselves And Others By Our Fallen Condition.

We’ve all had the thoughts before: “I am fat” “I am dumb” or “I am ugly.” These thoughts are almost universally decried. And if we start to think them our friends will tell us it is not true. The more dangerous things we define ourselves (or others) by are things like: “I am single” “I am gay” or “I am a sinner.” The world is far more likely to allow us to identify ourselves by these types of statements because to the world, these statements are true.

But to God, these statements are as ridiculous as the first group. They define us by the temporary status we hold in mortality! He sees us as we truly are. When He sees us sin, He does not think “Oh there is Jeremy, the sinner!” Instead, He sees us sin and thinks, “This is my son, Jeremy. He has made a mistake and sinned, but I am here waiting and wanting to forgive and forget.” He sees as we truly are, and we should see people as they truly are! You are not gay, an alcoholic, or autistic, you are not single or married. You are a Child of God who has the potential to become a god!

“We see ourselves in terms of yesterday and today. Our Heavenly Father sees us in terms of forever. Although we might settle for less, Heavenly Father won’t, for He sees us as the glorious beings we are capable of becoming.”
Joseph B. Wirthlin

3rd. We Justify Judging.

We all know judging someone is bad, but for some reason, we think that if our judgment is technically accurate it is ok. The problem with a technically accurate judgment is that if we were judged with that same judgment every single one of us would be sentenced damnation. For a technically accurate judgment is void of both mercy and understanding. I fall into this trap all too often. I see someone acting and I assume my judgment is accurate, sometimes they are, but sometimes they are not. But never once have I been able to understand fully their heart.  Since I realized this, my theme has become this verse from the hymn “Lord, I would follow thee”:

If you liked this article I invite you to read Four Ways The Shame Culture Is Corrupting Mormon Culture.