First I want to start by saying I don’t know all the answers when it comes to the topic of gender and same-sex attraction. That does not mean I don’t know any of the answers, because the Gospel contains many truths that create a clear picture on what we can and should do. I have studied this topic for many years seeking to understand the Lord’s truths and the prophets counsel on this topic. This last week I had some epiphanies applying the story of the prodigal son to those who experience LGBTQ feelings, and I want to share some of the insights with you.
Loving the Prodigal vs Making Them feel Loved.
Our main job with those who experience LGBTQ feelings is to love them. I think at this point the prophets and apostles have made that is extremely clear for every faithful Latter-day Saint. So the big question becomes how do we love them?
Many within the Church have this idea that we need to make people feel loved. It is not good enough to love them, we need to learn what that person views love as, and then love them in that manner. IE, they might say, “If you love me you will put a pride flag on your house” or “If you love me you will march in a parade with me.” Or even “If you love me you will condone my choices and affirm my lifestyle.” This is the philosophies of men mingled with scripture. That is manipulation; not love.
In the story of the prodigal son the father is a representation of God, therefore we can assume he loves his son. Yet despite this love, this perfect love, the son refused to feel loved. He went to his father and demanded his inheritance. Which I had explained in an education week class was tantamount to saying, “I wish you were dead and I had what will be mine, is given it to me.” It was a capital offense. Yet his dad loved him still. The son, then took the goods and left his fathers house traveled to a far off country and wasted it in riotous living.
Did the father march in a “riotous living” parade to show his love? No. Did the father put up “riotous living” flags around his house to make sure his son felt welcomed? No. The father did not travel to a far off country, he stayed in his homeland (in the Church) knowing that once his son hit rock bottom, once his son realized that Satan leaves a void in your soul that only Christ can fill, once his son needed someone to turn to, he needed to be there. He kept living the gospel so his son would have a home to return to!
Boundaries vs Affirmation
Many people desperately want to be labeled as a good friend, a good parent, or “loving, kind, or tolerant.” In this quest to have the approval of others, and often the world, they go down the rabbit hole of affirmation. They think the best way to love someone is to tell them what they are doing is “right for them” and that there is nothing wrong. They seek to change definitions of words, and doctrines to be more ‘inclusive’ of other lifestyles. They even speak evil of the Lord’s anointed and say once the homophobes are dead the Church will embrace the LGBTQ lifestyle. They have bought into the lies from Satan.
Did the father of the prodigal son tell him he could engage in riotous living at home? No. The fact he left to a far off country implies that his father had boundaries and lived the gospel and would not condone such actions. The son had to leave his homeland (gospel) to a far off country to full engage in riotous living.
But did his dad stop loving him? No. Even though he held that his sons desired lifestyle was incompatible with the gospel and what the family believed in, even though standing for truth caused his son to ‘feel unloved’ he loved him enough to do it. In fact, if the story of Alma the younger is an example I am willing to bet his father was fasting and praying that his son would hit that rock bottom as quickly as possible, that he would learn that there is never any lasting happiness in wicked lifestyles and come home.
My Son vs our own Labels.
Probably the most damaging lie Satan can get us to believe is that we are not children of God. The first step to this process is convincing us that we are our actions and desires. When the parodical son had hit rock bottom, had wasted his money and realized the hollowness of life away from home (outside the gospel) he decided to return home and admit he was no longer a son, because of his actions. He defined himself by his actions/desires. He planned on coming home and proclaiming his labels were who he was, no longer a son, and beg to be a servant in his fathers house.
Of this topic Jeffrey R. Holland has taught, “You serve yourself poorly when you identify yourself primarily by your sexual feelings. That isn’t your only characteristic, so don’t give it disproportionate attention. You are first and foremost a son of God, and He loves you.”
When he arrived home his father ran to meet him, showing that he was on the lookout for his wayward son. He not only was praying that he would hit rock bottom, he had faith that God would lead him back home with the “tentacles of Divine Providence” as Orson F. Whitney puts it. (NOTE, if you’ve never heard this phrase CLICK HERE for a must read article about it. It details the power of the sealing covenant and the promise that our wayward children will return to us IF we are faithful.)
When his son had rehearsed his preplanned explanation of his labels and not being a son his father taught pure doctrine, he rejected the labels and declared “my son was dead, and is alive again.” He did not say “My riotous living son” or “my gay son” or my “trans son” he cut through the lies of the worlds temporary and trivial labels and rejoiced that his son had come home, that where he was once dead he now lives.
Love Like Christ by Loving with Truth.
To return to where I started, I don’t know all things, and I don’t have all answers. But the Lord has given us a perfect Plan of Salvation. He has given us doctrines and principles that are full of love, that are tentacles of Divine Providence that lead His wayward children home. This includes the Family Proclamation. Many saints shy away from the Family Proclamation because it teaches a lifestyle that they fear won’t work for our brothers and sisters who experience LGBTQ feelings. This is similar to how some people won’t talk about eternal families around singles. But President Faust in the August 2007 First Presidency message declared:
All society, including single adult members, has a vested interest in fathers and mothers and families. A few years ago, President Boyd K. Packer, Acting President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, said to the single members of the Church: “We talk a lot about families. Sometimes in bitterness, you will want to say ‘all this talk about families, but I don’t have a family, and …’ stop there! Don’t add that extra phrase. ‘I wish they would stop talking so much about families.’ You pray that we do keep talking about families; about fathers and mothers and children and family home evening, temple marriage and companionship and all of the rest, because all of that will be yours. If we stop talking about it, then you, among all others, will be the losers.” I echo that sentiment. By and by, all of that will indeed be yours.
President James E. Faust, August 2007 First Presidency Message, “Welcoming Every Single One”
I want to close by echoing those words too. When we stop teaching the Family Proclamation the real losers are our brothers and sisters who might struggle with it. Those who are single, and those who experience LGBTQ feelings. Let us realize that God’s plan is perfect, and that He gave us assurances of His love like the Family Proclamation. When we, in our arrogance, start to abridge the plan of God so that it can be “more loving” we enter into dangerous company of another who sought to alter the plan.
Instead, let us embrace the plan, trust in God, love all our brothers and sisters, and proclaim truth knowing that truth is one of the tentacles of Divine Providence that God touches the wayward prodigal with. Let us pray that those we love who have engaged in their own forms of “riotous living” will “quickly feel the void in their life that only Christ and His gospel can fill, learn that there is no lasting happiness outside the gospel. And that they will come home.” And may we follow the example of the father of the prodigal son and embrace those who return and rejoice that the dead are alive again in Christ.
If you liked this article you will enjoy these too!
“10 Tips to be better disciples and love our LGBTQ+ brothers and sisters.”
And “The lie about loving the LGBTQ+ Community that many Latter-day Saints are believing.”
